A Marriage Story Options

I came across this online and though i would share it...

My husband is an Engineer by profession, I love him for his steady nature, and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders.

Three years of courtship and now, two years into marriage, I would have to admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before, has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness.

I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and my feelings, I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy. My husband, is my complete opposite, his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love.

One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce.

“Why?” he asked, shocked. “I am tired, there are no reasons for everything in the world!” I answered. He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep thought with a lighted cigarette at all times. My feeling of disappointment only increased, here was a man who can’t even express his predicament, what else can I hope from him? And finally he asked me:” What can I do to change your mind?”

Somebody said it right, it’s hard to change a person’s personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him. Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered : “Here is the question, if you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind, Let’s say, I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death, will you do it for me?” He said :” I will give you your answer tomorrow….” My hopes just sank by listening to his response.

I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting, underneath a milk glass, on the dining table near the front door, that goes…. My dear, “I would not pick that flower for you, but please allow me to explain the reasons further..” This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading.

“When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs, and you cry in front of the screen, I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs. You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you. You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city, I have to save my eyes to show you the way. You always have the cramps whenever your “good friend” approaches every month, I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your tummy.

You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom. You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes, I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails, and help to remove those annoying white hairs. So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand… and tell you the color of flowers, just like the color of the glow on your young face… Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more than I do… I could not pick that flower yet, and die.. ”

My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting… and as I continue on reading… “Now, that you have finished reading my answer, if you are satisfied, please open the front door for I am standing outside bringing your favorite bread and fresh milk… I rush to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, clutching tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread….

Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as much as he does, and I have decided to leave the flower alone…

That’s life, and love. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness.

Love shows up in all forms, even very small and cheeky forms, it has never been a model, it could be the most dull and boring form.. . flowers, and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface of the relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true love stands… and that’s our life… Love, not words win arguments…

Love it Thanks for sharing sami

Awww. That is so cute!

*shudders* I know not, of this love thing. :|

hehe that was a good read. thanks for sharing

You're welcome ladies, i had to share

Finally a gal story I can relate too

Well, 2 lessons to be learnt. Well as I see it anyway.

1) People dont show love the same way and nor do they love the same way
so
2) Express it often, in ways you can both understand.

Tada.

^I agree.

Well, 2 lessons to be learnt. Well as I see it anyway.

1) People dont show love the same way and nor do they love the same way
so
2) Express it often, in ways you can both understand.

Tada.

Who is to say he in the story did not express it? In his own way mind you.

If he did, i dont think she would have felt that way.

Well, 2 lessons to be learnt. Well as I see it anyway.

1) People dont show love the same way and nor do they love the same way
so
2) Express it often, in ways you can both understand.

Tada.

Who is to say he in the story did not express it? In his own way mind you.

Hiya, smartbottom, you didn't read my post properly. She was yearning for him to show love/appreciation the way she wanted hence no.1, he also should have no.2'd more often.

she's a thicko. way too much hollywood romance has infected her mind and raised her expectation of what a good relationship is to some silly unrealistic fairytale.

but through her dumbness we learn a lesson.

he's a clown as well, standing outside with the bread and milk. its completely unrealistic behaviour and only further extends the expectation in women of real love inducing this kind of sissy boy behaviour.

in reality he woulda stormed in with the bread and milk and shouted 'err...whats that smell?'

'umm i dont smell anything...??'

'Exactly...get in the kitchen and start cooking!'

This isn't the joke section Rizwan.

It shows the selfish nature of the woman

and the lack of communication which led to the failure by the man.

The reasons of me loving him before, has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness

man was doing perfectly fine - whatever he was doing was enough for her, being the still and steady warm person.

but she decided to change her mind and expect something different, which the man had never offered in the first place.

is it reasonable for him to expect to provide this new form of demonstration of his love?

lack of communcation was on the woman's part first, for not explaining to him her reason for unhappiness. instead, she just went straight for the divorce button. another symptom of today's culture where if anything is even moderately not going well, instead of working towards a fix, we go for the seemingly easier option of hitting the escape button.

there are many lessons for women to learn from this silly woman in the story.

she's a thicko. way too much hollywood romance has infected her mind and raised her expectation of what a good relationship is to some silly unrealistic fairytale.

but through her dumbness we learn a lesson.

he's a clown as well, standing outside with the bread and milk. its completely unrealistic behaviour and only further extends the expectation in women of real love inducing this kind of sissy boy behaviour.

in reality he woulda stormed in with the bread and milk and shouted 'err...whats that smell?'

'umm i dont smell anything...??'

'Exactly...get in the kitchen and start cooking!'

x2 i agree, even though i am a woman.

she's a thicko. way too much hollywood romance has infected her mind and raised her expectation of what a good relationship is to some silly unrealistic fairytale.

but through her dumbness we learn a lesson.

he's a clown as well, standing outside with the bread and milk. its completely unrealistic behaviour and only further extends the expectation in women of real love inducing this kind of sissy boy behaviour.

in reality he woulda stormed in with the bread and milk and shouted 'err...whats that smell?'

'umm i dont smell anything...??'

'Exactly...get in the kitchen and start cooking!'

No offense, but why is she dumb? I'm on the side of the guy in this situation personally, as I am not a romantic type and I don't care for such things. But that doesn't mean I can't open my mind and care about what another person would feel. When you love/care about somebody, you don't say "hey your way of thinking is dumb and stupid because mine is different so start thinking like me or you're an idiot" you say "there is no right or wrong way to go about this, let's meet somewhere in the middle. I know something is important to you, even though I don't entirely understand, I will do my best to indulge that. And I expect you will show me the same respect because we love each other" At least, that is how two mature adults would handle the situation


But more than that, I get this is supposed to be a joke (at least I'm hoping), but I just consider it stupid and sexist. Why do people think such things are funny? I'm sure you're rolling your eyes now, but do you consider race jokes funny? Forget about that. Do you consider bigoted religious jokes funny? What if someone cracks a joke about how all Muslims are terrorists and such and such stupid crap like that. If someone says to you, what would be your response? So why do you think a woman would feel any different way when you crack such a rude/offensive joke at them? Open your mind a little and try and think from another person's perspective. Honestly, this sort of joke is everything that is wrong with the world, and everything that is wrong with Muslim culture

This post has been edited by Nazia1987: Mar 12 2011, 10:28 AM

Expressions of love to a spouse is more than just mere words. It is in actions too.

The everyday actions he did was him showing his love to the woman. She wanted more. She wanted all the goo goo ga ga of a novel romance. She should of stated such fact. Been up front with him on night at dinner and say hey you I need this once romance thing once in a while too..


A man that loves a woman when married will go to provider, protector, and shelterer mode for the woman. Most will do this without complaint. This action is showing his love to her. The most simple things are always overlooked. The woman if she desired flowers nights out etc only had to express this then it would of been known and he could of saved the trouble of holding bread and spoiled milk ( for I bet she left him out there a few hours in the heat )

Dear sister Naz,

I'm sure Rizwan didn't mean it in that way I think its funny because ive come across people who are in the fantasy world and i know where Rizwan is coming from.

Its all about perception, the way people see things. Some see things through rose tinted glasses, others see things for what they really are.