A Difficult Question About The Prophet (pbuh) Options

[Nazia1987]

I have a question to asks that makes me uncomfortable. And further a reason why I try and steer away from hadith because it says that Aisha was 6 when Prophet Mohamed made marriage contract with her and 9 when he made sexual relations. This bothers me and is often the thing people say to me when they are being hateful against Islam.

Why would this happen? There are many many things which people have always said to me is bad in Islam, and every time I have always been able to find an answer or it has never bothered me but this always has. Once somebody told me, people lived younger back then and developed quicker, but 9 years old... 9 years old, a child? I can't ever wrap my mind around it and always try and ignore the fact.

how to reconsile with this fact? is it truly fact? what to say when somebody brings it up when they are debating with you about religion?

[ExMormon]

Well, they WERE married. I don't see why they couldn't have sex. Also, their Marriage was probably better than most peoples on the Earth right now. If anything, they are moaning about their insecurities.


I assume they don't mind the Hebrews taking 3 year old sex slaves in the Old Testament though.

"Not only was it a custom in the Arab society to Engage/Marry a young girl it was also common in the Jewish society. The case of Mary the mother of Jesus comes to mind, in non biblical sources she was between 11-14 years old when she conceived Jesus. Mary had already been "BETROTHED" to Joseph before conceiving Jesus. Joseph was a much older man. therefore Mary was younger than 11-14 years of age when she was "BETROTHED" to Joseph. We Muslims would never call Joseph a Child Molester, nor would we refer to the "Holy Ghost" of the Bible, that "Impregnated" Mary as a "Rapist" or "Adulterer"."

This post has been edited by ExMormon: Mar 21 2010, 07:47 AM

[unknown brother]

there are several factors to consider, but the answer that satisfies me the most is, if in fact it was such a crime, and an injury to Aisha RA, why did SHE not complain about it AFTER the Prophet PBUH had died? a child who has been molested can never forget about it or forgive the molester, we see tons of examples of people coming out after decades and filing suits against the Preists that had molested them when they were kids.

In fact after the Prophet PBUH had passed away, Aisha RA said what could be bigger sorrow than his passing which means that she loved him even after.

now as far as her age is concerned, what matters is not the age, but if the individual has reached pubitry or not, if the individual is an Adult or not, and it may very well be a fact that Aisha RA had reached that requirement. i mean the limit of 14 years to have sex in USA and Canada is set by humans, to some even that may sound too young, but again, what in my opinion what should matter is if the individual has reached pubitry or not, so it is very case specific.

may Allah SWT guide us all

[NOSHADYLADY4]

When it comes to the marriage of Aisha(RA) and the Prophet(SAW) we should choose our words very carefully. (Molested, rape, etc). These thoughts are of todays society and not during their time, Mashallah.

People should really read about the real person(s) who gave Aisha(RA) in marriage to the Prophet(SAW)...Allah...then her parents. Yes the young women back then were far more advanced in intelligence, age and womanhood that they are today. There are customs that marry children under the age of 2 and the marriage is not consumated until the person is past puberty and able to consent for themselves in most cases. [One of my clients was married at the age of 5 to her cousin but was not consumated until she was 13 and consented. She is 37 and still married to the person, Mashallah.]

Aisha truly loved the Prophet(SAW) from marriage until they both passed away. She could have protested like little girls sometimes do, but she actually seemed happy and pleased to be married to the Prophet(SAW). She could have protested after he died and made a big stink, but she did not. So how is it the we have a problem with what Alllah decrees and not with what we do that He did not decree?

We also have to remember that Aisha(RA) and the Prophet(SAW) were nothing like the people of today, Mashallah. We are too squemish about what Allah tells us NOT to do but BOLD with the things He forbids us to do.

I admire Aisha(RA) from child to wife and beyond. Secular laws these days have punishments for these types of marriages and relationships mainly because men go beyond the relationship(rape, abuse, etc) in the name of marriage.

If you feel uncomfortable about the subject, just tell people that society acceptions then are totally different from today and that Aisha(RA) was not forced into marriage nor was the Prophet(SAW) and abuser of young women. His love for Aisha span many years until his death, and was just not some whim! If people are not satisfied, direct thenm to the Qur'an and Hadith on the matter. Many non-muslims will not take the chance to do so and many muslims will still cringe at the idea because of the age difference.

Just my two cents!!

This post has been edited by NOSHADYLADY4: Apr 20 2010, 01:52 PM

[Nazia1987]

thanks everyone for the responses. This is the most common thing I see people pick at. For awhile it had me really dismayed because even I am not sure what to say or think about this matter.

[forgive_me92]

She wasnt 9. she was 18. and relations can occur later within the marriage.

[Nazia1987]

hmm... I've always heard she was married as a child. where does it say she was 18? I am really curious about this

[rizwan]

sunnis consider her to be 6 at age of marriage and 9 at age of consummation due to hadiths in bukhari and sunni's rigid belief in bukhari leads me to believe there is not much questioning over this proposed fact.

shias dispute this. however, i dont believe there is a unanimously agreed upon age by shias.

This video discusses the potential ages of Aisha at age of marriage

its only 10 mins long, and an interesting discussion. the lecturer represents the shia view in case you were wondering.