Living Life In Diverse Surroundings - Pros And Cons? Options

[Nazia1987]

Hi all, I thought I'd share a little person detail of my life with my friends here on MO I may be white and American, but I have grown up in very diverse surroundings. I come from what you would call the American lower class, and I moved much as I was growing up and grew up among a large immigrant community of Kenyans, Korean, and European cultures. My best friends when I was a kid were Japanese and Korean. When I hit high school, the neighborhood I lived was probably upwards of 90% African American, as was the high school I attended. I don't know of any other white people who lived in my neighborhood.

When I hit college, I found myself in an odd place because I come from a very working class background and had never much socialized with your typical American college student. I was not really used to most white American culture and so ended up befriending mostly Asians who I felt I understood. My best friend was Indian, and from that point forth, I met many Indians and today it is that the vast majority of my friends are from India. The apartment complex/neighborhood I live in I am the only American among only Indians. The school I work in today is much like the high school I attended when I was younger, majority black and Mexican population, and I definitely stick out.


I have done a lot of looking objectively in my life and I have seen over the past few years how the diversity I've been surrounded with has really helped me in life. I have a rich understanding of perspectives in life and from this have adopted a very odd hybrid of culture and values that I live by. I don't understand what it is to feel discomfort with strangers because they are a different color, race, religion, etc. One downfall is that i see the xenophobia and racism that exists in all cultures. For example, in my group of friends, I am really the only American any of my Asian friends know. The communities here are very closed off and people only want to be with each other. Usually my friends just tell me "You're not really American, you're like one of us", but this sort of mentality makes me sad, because it hints at the thought that "if you weren't like us, you wouldn't fit in and we wouldn't be friends because I only stick to my own kind!!" Actually I am very American! They just don't notice because we are so close!


There is ignorance and bias and xenophobia in all cultures. Sometimes I admit there are things that bother me about the respective cultures I have live in and around and I catch myself in a moment of ignorance where I think "how could people think this way!" Living among other cultures can certainly be frustrating. But I think in the end, the positive it brings to people far outweighs the small frustrations. I truly believe living life like this, unafraid of differences, is the only way racism and hatred will be cured in society. I always give an example that I have met many Americans in my life who say things like "we should just bomb all of them", speaking about a culture/group of people they don't like. Such people to them are just like numbers, caricatures of cultures and groups. They don't think of them as individuals with lives and loves and families. I see the same ignorance among many Asian cultures I live around as well who say things like "Americans this" and "Americans that" and truly believe it. I think this mentality comes from underexposure.



Anyway friends, I don't know why but I felt compelled to share my thoughts here. I wanted to know what you all think. What are the strengths of diverse communities? What are the personal pitfalls we have to deal with as a result? Does diversity cause us to look at ourselves from a different/unbiased perspective?

This post has been edited by Nazia1987: Apr 12 2011, 12:50 PM

[msazad]

Hi!
Is it common for sensible posts to remain unanswered this long around here?
I wouldn't presume to consider myself your friend but your post made me think a bit because I've got mixed feelings about this and I'd like to write down a few things, if only to try to clear my mind of some confusion. As much as I tried, I can't come up with anything very coherent or penetrating but here your go...

I probably grew up in a less diverse environment than you did for the most part. But I had people with varying amounts of melanin in my family, I used to play with kids from different religious backgrounds (that was lacking in my family) and went to school in several countries.
As a kid, I had romantic ideas about diversity. Due to some bad experiences and perhaps to some unrelated aspects of my personality, diversity felt good. In particular I felt *safer* when I was confident I wasn't going the only one sticking out. I often saw people who I figured were part of the majority as threats, especially the ones wearing an uniform and carrying guns. I don't think I've ever been threatened or harassed by an officer visibly belonging to a minority. This is something you might not relate to as a woman. In fact I don't recall taking abuse from any female officer either.
I've slowly outgrown some of my romantic ideas. I've discovered that, while there's a bunch of loud-mouthed racist, homophobe, close-minded and all-around macho creeps belonging to the majority around here, the dominant culture is actually rather liberal compared to many places around the world. People from a minority backgrounds tend to be less obnoxious because they have less power to abuse and more to fear but the experience of being part of a minority doesn't automatically enlighten them. It may sound obvious to you but I didn't always understand that. As I got to know older folks and especially people who didn't go to liberal schools, it became painfully obvious to me that some of the quiet and friendly expats I believed could do no wrong were actually dangerous.
Some startling things I figured belonged to the past also happened around the world in the wake of the final crisis and fall of the USSR (I guess I don't need to spell them out) and that also made me reconsider the benefits of diversity.

Anyway, to answer your questions...
We learn from differences. Knowing yourself is not all about knowing people as different as possible but it obviously helps a lot. It's not about becoming unbiased somehow but about understanding our biases.
Prosperous diverse communities (not segregated ghettos but genuinely diverse!) are often a haven for individual freedom. They tend to offer a feast for the senses: food, music and other things which easily cross cultural barriers. Creativity usually thrives there. They offer unique opportunties for intellectual and artistic development to those who are smart and/or do not want for money. It seems it's always been that way. Consider how powerful the myth of Al-Andalus is after all these centuries (see the poll currently on this forum's front page).
But effective communication with people who have different cultural backgrounds is *hard*.
And when money doesn't flow quite so easily, when resentment grows and so on things may not be so rosy. The elderly, the sick and the poor aren't guaranteed the kind of support they could expect in a closer-knit community. I don't think diverse communities can organize themselves to push back against thugs or the state as effectively as segreated communities. And I don't think I would want to live in a diverse community in the face of civil strife or even a natural disaster. There's a price to pay for individual freedom. At the wrong place and the wrong time, the price could be very high.

One last thing. I don't entierly agree with your analysis about underexposure and ignorance.
Look at the "we should just bomb all of them" lunacy. You concentrate on the "them" part. But that's not the craziest part actually! I best most if not all the ones who told you something along those lines never bombed anyone and aren't planning to. So who's "we"? I don't suppose you were talking to the head of the Joint Chiefs or something. You talk to people who have *no voice* in the governement and they start spouting "we" as if they had access to the wealth and power of the country. You've got the main problem right there!
Sure, it would be great if people understood other countries and cultures better. But the first order of business is to get them to understand their own culture and their own country and their position in it, don't you think? I can pretty much guarantee you that, however ignorant they are about other cultures, people who know better than to imagine themselves as somehow belonging to the government's crew won't be mindlessly cheering foreign wars.
The people who say "Americans this" and "Americans that" probably have the same problem. If they've got a clue about their home country, they should quickly understand how ridiculous it sounds if you reply by stereotyping their folks in the same way. But if they believe they're part of some imaginary national, ethnic or religious community, it's only logical for them to think of "America" as another grand community.

[msazad]

Oh and I also wanted to say some people seem more suited to diverse surroundings than other.
It can be hard for people who have anxiety issues and need constant reassurances if they move some place where they can't have the type of relationships they're used to. So I guess if you have that type of personality you'd still benefit from more boring surroundings even if you've never the stability and the lack of choices and doubt of less diverse places.
On the other hand if you're the least bit curious about the world, no matter what goes wrong, you're going to love being in a position to meet people from different background and so on.
But today technology can help with that even if you're living in the boondocks. Obviously machines aren't a substitute for actually living in or even merely visting a diverse place but the moneyed youth of today don't know how good they have it. Only 20 years ago, if you wanted to know the world it was so difficult and people were so clueless! Maybe you ended up doing interesting things by fumbling about aimlessly but you were more likely to invest lots of time and money (and possibly putting yourself at risk) for very little.

[Nazia1987]

wow thanks for these well thought out replies!


I wanted to touch on one point, and then will come back tomorrow and reply to the other points you made.

When I said ignorance and underexposure, I don't think I explained myself all that well. Yeah, clearly such people have never actually inflicted harm and most likely won't, but I was speaking more to a detatchment from others. This way in which other races/cultures/ethnicities are looked at at almost this singular entity rather than collections of thriving individuals. I do believe this happens because people do not have their *close* friendships/family relationships outside their own race/culture/ethnicity, etc.


It's funny, I am not sure if I mentioned but you know, when people make an insult against Indians, I take it personally after all these years living among Indians. Sometimes I almost have to stop for a minute and remember hey I'm not Indian, and it's going to look weird if I respond like I have taken this so personally! but it's not that I love India etc., it's that I love the many Indians in my life, and they are not just my acquaintances but they are my close family to me, and so they are an extension of who I am.


Yeah again, these sort of "bomb them all" fools won't really do anything. It's just that they can have this mentality in the first place. I think this mentality is destroyed when you make close, inter personal relationships outside of your own culture/race/ethnicity.


That's just my personal opinion though!

Sure, it would be great if people understood other countries and cultures better. But the first order of business is to get them to understand their own culture and their own country and their position in it, don't you think? I can pretty much guarantee you that, however ignorant they are about other cultures, people who know better than to imagine themselves as somehow belonging to the government's crew won't be mindlessly cheering foreign wars.
The people who say "Americans this" and "Americans that" probably have the same problem. If they've got a clue about their home country, they should quickly understand how ridiculous it sounds if you reply by stereotyping their folks in the same way. But if they believe they're part of some imaginary national, ethnic or religious community, it's only logical for them to think of "America" as another grand community.

Just wanted to say I very much agree with you here


One thing I have noticed is that in America our atrocities seem to be rather external while in some countries in the mid east for example, the atrocities are more internal (yes this will start a debate, but can we deny that there is no injustice done to the citizens in many mid east countries?) Both sides have terrible problems, but both focus on what the other countries do and sort of disregard what is going on in their own countiries.

[Breeze]

This forum is facing an inactive stage, but it will gradually build in active ness in time.

Oh people are racist, even self hating racists out there, i know a few.

I think everyone from a different ethnicity living in another country other than the one their ancestors came from will experience racism at one point during their lives.

There are good people and bad in every race, there is also racism in every race.

[msazad]

I must insist Nazia! What did you just say? "our atrocities"? What atrocities have you been involved with? I shudder to imagine your terrible crimes! Have you for instance paid a pittance to the Feds as income tax? Crusader! How can you ever be forgiven for this dastardly treachery? But I don't mean to make fun of you. Kidding aside, this is a serious matter. Every time you say something like this you reinforce people's feeling of belonging to the government's posse. Words have power.
I can understand if you feel that the USA is your country, as in the song "this land is your land". But the country is not responsible for what the government does and neither are you (I hope!). If people were responsible simply because they lived in the US or were US citizens, wouldn't it be jihad to slaughter them indiscriminately?
I understand you wanted to talk about something else but I think these issues are related. I think the mentality you're talking about starts with "we", not with "them". Seeing other cultures as something else than "singular entities" as you say starts with seeing your own culture that way! That's the one you know best. In fact knowing different cultures is likely to reinforce people's sense of cultural belonging, not weaken it. That's probably what's been happening these last few decades in the mind of many people as they were confronted with people who are different from them in ways they didn't imagine before.

I'm all for inter-cultural contacts including close ones but I'm afraid they're not reliable as a way to prevent the "us versus them" mentality in general or vile hate crimes in particular. I probably used to believe some of what you believe now but, as I said above, I changed my mind a bit. I'm not saying you're wrong of course, only that things seem to be more complicated.
Maybe you think that close relationships have a different effect but I used to know a white racist who didn't like his black kids mingling too closely with other blacks for instance . It seems he made an exception in his mind for his family or something. Bigots aren't known for rigorous self-examination.
There's at least one active member of this forum who claims to represent Macedonia. If he's old enough and travelled a bit, maybe he could tell you about the inter-communal relationships which existed in Yugoslavia. You could argue they weren't close enough of course but the only time I've heard someone argue that ignorance was the main problem it was to justify more segregation (because "they" were the ignorant ones)! Or perhaps some of your Indian friends could tell you about communalism. Segregation is definitely a huge factor but unless you think for instance that Modi's problem was that he didn't have enough opportunities to get to know Muslims when he was young or something, you have to recognize there's something else playing out than simply ignorance.

[CrystalStone]

I personally wonder if diversity and racism are not moral choices that we each make. For example i was raised by people I would now think are quite closeminded, even racist but who, though their words if not their actions, open my mind to diversity. Everyday I am given the choice to dis-allow diversity and act with enequality or racism but i choice, inshallah, to do the opersite. I think we all have thhat same choice: When we are shopping; on a bus or train; walking down the street; in school; at work; etc.
Everyday somewhere someone is treated with disrespect and everyday somewhere someone is treated kindly. I have been beaten in the street, had my scarf pulled from my head, been cursed and spat on (not all at once lol jazakallah) but I have also been helped from the ground, been given a helping hand when injuried, been defended and been inspired.
We all have the choice.

Assalamu alaikum (Peace be upon you)
GB Xx