40 Day Gathering For The Deceased Options

[Binty]

Salaam everyone, I hope you're well.

It's been, I suppose, almost 40 days that my dear Gran passed away and as per usual, in the culture I grew up with (and it may be happening in other cultures too -- that I don't know), there is an event where people gather on the 40th day to read Quran on behalf of the deceased person and likely to mourn.

I ignored this topic altogether whilst growing up, I suppose it's because I don't usually turn up in these kind of events and whenever I did, I hardly did anything. But now that people are being invited for the 40th day this Saturday, I am unsure whether I want to go to this gathering. It's causing discomfort, as I know already how to deal with the death of my Gran and have her in my memories and du'as, but find is unnecessary to join in this type of event. For my family I would do anything but not when it's something I'll end up at lip-service value (lol). It may baffle them but hey... I got to know what's the Islamic stance on this matter. My opinion is that you have to make du'a for someone sincerely and if possible, at all times -- and this event narrows it down somewhat as a social aspect that distracts... I mean, what's the point of 40 days?

It just occured to me - is it allowed -- this whole "40th day gathering for the deceased"? Any insights? What about gathering to read the Quran in itself?

Thanks.

This post has been edited by bin't Zayd: May 13 2010, 08:04 PM

[wonderer]

well yah it's sad to redo it all in 40days.... it's good in a way tho.. coz ppl will gather to read Quran for that person.. will some really don't read they just sit and chitchat.. but at least they will all read Al-fateha..

for us, shia, we do the 40th of Imam Hussain every year.. it's an amazing reminder of his sacrifice.. and that was done for soooo long.. SO, yup we are allowed to do it not sure abt sects tho.. they might consider bidah or something..

and Quaran gatherings.. like the general ones not the ones with mourning.. are always recommended..

[NOSHADYLADY4]

Fatwa Question (1)
After the death of someone of our family, must we really wait 40 days before living normally, as they do in North African countries?

Answer
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions. The mourning in Islam is three days except for the wife who should stay in mourning situation for 4 months and ten days after the death of her husband as Allah Says (Interpretation of meaning): (And those of you who die and leave wives behind them, they (the wives) shall wait concerning themselves for four months and ten days).[2:234]. The Prophet Muhammad (Blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) also said: " It is forbidden for any woman who believe in Allah and the Last Day to mourn a dead person for more than three days except for a husband she should wait concerning herself for four months and ten days". [al-Bukhari and Muslim]. Mourning in Islam - done by the woman - means avoiding adorning herself and putting perfumes or kohl and the like. It does not mean changing ones behaviour or life or eating or drinking or one's toilet. It simply means avoiding adornments. As for waiting forty days and changing one's way of living, this is a bad (Bid'ah) innovation that has been introduced into the Muslim land. Its origin is that it is an old habit from the Pharaon era and known as "the forty". They pretend wrongly that the soul comes back to the corpse after 40 days. This is why, they put some properties such as food, drink, ornaments, clothes and the like with the corpse. So if the soul comes back it finds what it needs, as they claim. Finally, Muslims should stick to the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad (Blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) and avoid all kinds of innovations in the religion. Allah knows best.

Question (2)Question:

In the indo Pak bangladesh subcontinent, there is something in the culture where if any Muslim dies then after 40 days we observe a day of supplication and rememberance of that person. My father recently died ( *!*!*!X) so I would like to know the islamic ruling on these kind of observences?

Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
What happens in some Muslim countries – where the friends and relatives of the deceased gather after 40 days to read Qur’aan, make du’aa’ for him and remember him – is undoubtedly bid’ah (reprehensible innovation) for which no authority has been revealed by Allaah. It is not permissible to take part in or attend such gatherings. We have to speak out against such practices. The Muslim should pray for his brother at all times, not only for three days after his death, or forty days or one year later, etc. It should be known that this is a custom of the Kuffaar and it is not permissible for us to imitate them. May Allaah help us to follow the Sunnah, and may He bless our Prophet Muhammad.

Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid


There are so many innovations in Islam and much of it has to do with culture, I am sad to say. Sometimes people want to keep up traditions of past family, but Islam does not sanction this behavior. May Allah Bless all those who have passed away with the Jammah, Ameen.

Hope this gives a bit more insight, Inshallah.

[Binty]

Thank you girls, for your insights... it helps and I have some further questions and in pursuit of clarification; or maybe I can research it on my own. In the meantime, what you've provided is useful for what I need to do.

On a side note, if anyone can provide for me evidence for:

As for waiting forty days and changing one's way of living, this is a bad (Bid'ah) innovation that has been introduced into the Muslim land. Its origin is that it is an old habit from the Pharaon era and known as "the forty". They pretend wrongly that the soul comes back to the corpse after 40 days. This is why, they put some properties such as food, drink, ornaments, clothes and the like with the corpse. So if the soul comes back it finds what it needs, as they claim.

This post has been edited by bin't Zayd: May 15 2010, 05:08 AM

[Kalaam]

Ya its very strange thing, its indeed bidah, my father passed away sometime ago, and than this "chaleeswa" as it is called was done, though i had told my relatives that its bidah, but nowadays no one listens to the anti bidah people , all are shunned away as "wahabis" whatever sect they be from.

I believe in other things , as praying for your father and serving your mother much better. The fact is that the people who come to chaleeswa , they don't help the deceased's family at all, if the intentions were really pure, they would have helped the deceased's family, but the followers of the customs , may Allah guide them. The sad thing is that if you don't do chaleeswa, than the people talk ill about you, from this fear many people do chaleeswa , my family also had this problem. As if you don't do chaleeswa , than it means you didn't like the deceased. Pakistan and India are a hub of bidaats and the people can neither move out of them , nor will they let someone else move out of them.

[NOSHADYLADY4]

OTHER FATWA:

"...celebrating the 40th day after the death of a person is an innovation which neither the Prophet nor his companions did. Similarly, gathering and sitting for morning after the 40th day and before the 40th day is disliked.

Jareer Ibn 'Abdullaah Al-Bajali said: ''We used to consider gathering at the home of the deceased and preparing food for his family after burying him as mourning.'' [Ahmad]

We advise you not to go to, or participate in this invented matter, and you should advise your family with wisdom and in a soft manner and clarify to them that all the good is in following the Sunnah of the Prophet and all the evil is in following innovations. The Prophet said: "…the worst matters are the newly invented ones…"

Finally, we ask Allaah to forgive and have mercy upon your deceased and upon all the dead Muslims.

Allaah Knows best.

*Reciting Tahlil on the dead for 7 to 40 days
Fatwa Date : 17 Thoul Ki'dah 1423 / 20-01-2003

Question
I would like to ask a question concerning issues that usually happen in Thailand.
A group of people and reading and providing food to other people invited to recite TAHLIL on dead people at home the day of a person dies until 7 days and some times for 40 days. Is this proper?
May Allah blessing all of us.
Answer
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.

By and large, it is permitted to recite Qur'an and pray to Allah to grant its reward to some deceased. But, it is an innovation to fix a time limit to do so, such as one week, 40 days and so on since there is no evidence for it in Shari'a.
As for giving a banquet and holding meeting with supplication and remembrance, this is not in accordance with the Prophetic guidance nor his companions or their followers. This constitutes an innovation that we are to avoid. Then, we are advised to do some legal deeds on this occasion such as giving Sadaqa, supplication in general, reciting Qur'an and doing good deeds, and then granting their reward to the deceased. Then, it is not allowed to ask some one to recite the Qur'an on behalf of the dead and pay him some money.

Allah knows best.


CHALISWA-Chaaliswa is a custom which takes place forty days after the death of a person. On this day a group of people gather at the house of the deceased and engage in various acts of ‘Ibaadat with the intention of Esaal-e-Thawaab. Those who attend these ceremonies believe that it can only be held forty days after the death of a person. We have mentioned above that there is no stipulated time for performing Esaal-e-Thawaab therefore to appoint a time and regard it as necessary is Bid’ah. Once Shah ‘Abdul ‘Aziz Dehlawi (R.A.A.) was asked regarding those people who stipulate a certain day to visit the graveyard and regard it as compulsory to visit the graveyard on that specific day. Shah saheb replied that visiting the graveyard is a great Sunnah but to fix a specific and deem it compulsory to visit the graveyard on that day would be Bid’ah. (Ikhtilaaf-e-Ummat aur Siraat-e-Mustaqeem, Vol. 1, Page 96)


It is not permissible to attend such gathering as by attending them one would be imitating their ways and promoting their beliefs.

And Allah Ta’ala knows best