Thinking Of Reverting To Islam Options

As-Salāmu `Alaykum,

I find myself very drawn to Islam and I'm considering converting but I find myself confused and frustrated. I’m a 25yr old female from Ontario Canada who lives in a very secular world. My family was not religious, but called themselves Protestant. From a very young age I’ve found myself searching for spiritual answers. I’ve been pagan as a teenager, I then converted to Christianity, and then back to pagan, then studied Buddhism and other eastern spiritualities such as Taoism. I’ve spent so long searching for something to ascribe to, to fill the void. I recently discovered Islam, I’ve been learning as best I can alone for the past year. I do not know any Muslims where I live, my friends are secular, except my boyfriend who is Jewish. I understand the debate of Muslim women marrying non-Muslims, at which many Muslims find unacceptable, while others feel the law for men equally applies to women. However, I love my boyfriend, I plan to marry him, I prayed and prayed to Allah for a partner that would bring me peace and he has blessed me so. I’m afraid if I become Muslim, the community will reject me. I’m afraid to go to the mosque because I plan to marry a Jew. I want to learn how to do Wudu and Salat but I just can’t get it. I don’t know how to pronounce the words properly and can’t seem to get it with youtube videos showing you how. I don’t know what to do, or how to adjust being a Muslim. My roommate is male, so us never being together alone would be impossible, I’m not economically able to move as I’m a very “poor” student. I put quotation marks around poor because as I am financially limited to Canadian standards, Allah as blessed as I have everything I need. I’m not sure if I should forget about Islam because I don’t think I can live up to its standards or what to do. This makes me very sad to think about. If anyone has any advice for me I would be most grateful.



Zaira

Wa 'Alaykum As ,

I'm a revert too! It's been a challenge, especially in dealing with the opposite sex lol, but Alhamdulillah it's very rewarding. Just keep your interactions to the minimum and otherwise, live in the best way you can according to the Qur'an and Sunnah. Depending on where you live, you can order Islaamic books and find out more.

Remember, this world (Dunya) is only temporary, you should give Da'wah to your boyfriend about your Deen (faith), and shouldn't marry him until he reverts to Islaam... as far as the Masjid understanding, just ask an Imaam, the best place to do that would probably be www.askimam.com, its run by a great Shaykh, Ibrahim Desai (db), its awesome Mash'Allah.

I wish you success in this world and the 'Aakhirah (Hereafter, Heaven/Hell)!

-Abdul Aziz al-Amreeki (islambestfaith13)

,

As a convert my advice is so. Do one thing at a time fully and consciously.
Then move on. Because all the aspects of islam are there to help us but can be overwhelming if taken in all at once.

For me it was: not eating pork, stop drinking alcohol, eating halal. Every step took time, but now i do not falter on these things.

Take you time, search fully and throughly. Islam is a religion of facility.

May you find peace and may Allah guide you sister.

as a revert myself, i assure you i understand your problem.

What is most important is that if you believe that God is One and Muhammad is his messenger, then you are already Muslim. There isn't really anything formal to do. And it sounds like you already believe that. So congrats, you are Muslim.

Now on the family problem: It is true that your family might cause problems for you. My roomate is Jewish by race but raised Neo-Con Evangelical Christian, and then became Muslim. His father and he don't really get along. Even Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) had problems with many family members who would not accept his reversion. The point is that if you believe Muhammad is the Messanger and God is One, then you can't just change your beliefs out of fear, because deep down you know the truth. My advice is that you don't announce your conversion to your parents until you are financially able. In the end, i truly believe your parents will accept you.

Next I would recommend trying to find a female roommate for next year (im guessing if you are a student the semester is almost over). I know you are "student-poor," but i believe as a student you won't have trouble finding a new roommate once your lease ends.

About your boyfriend, I would recommend trying to talk to him about his interest in other religions. I'm not sure how fervently Jewish he is, but maybe if he isn't that religious he would be willing to convert for your sake (i personally dont agree with converting for marriage but sometimes it's necessary). If you could give more details on your boyfriend and the situation i could help out.

You have found yourself in a situation where different decisions will get you rejected from different communities. They are very tough decisions indeed. But remember, one of the most important things about Islam, like Christianity. is the Forgiveness of Allah. Try very hard, but if you slip up or are unable, Allah is forgiving.

I finish with some quotes:

"it not what i am underneath, but what I do that defines me"- Batman Begins

"The reward of deeds depends upon the intentions and every person will get the reward according to what he has intended. So whoever emigrated for worldly benefits or for a woman to marry, his emigration was for what he emigrated for." - Muhammad

Thank you all for your replies, I found them to be very encouraging. I've started taking small steps, such as avoiding alcohol ... It's not easy with it being a normal part of social functions with my friends and family. Regarding my boyfriend, he is not interseting in converting, he feels his religion and Islam are so similar that we can easily coincide together. I encourage him with his religous beliefs and practices as he supports me becoming Muslim.

I look forward from learning from you all here...
Jazakallah Khair (Thank you and may Allah reward you for your good)

sallam

just to remind you that its not permissible for a woman to be a man unless you are married

if hes not interested in converting then im afraid you cant marry him or be with him

may allah guide us all

^ Don't go be so hard on her brother, just to let you know MUSIC is HARAAM also, consider that you^, give her some space and encouragement, don't issue fatwas, even though they may be right!

^ Don't go be so hard on her brother, just to let you know MUSIC is HARAAM also, consider that you^, give her some space and encouragement, don't issue fatwas, even though they may be right!

Personally I would disagree about the music part, but it true that taking one step at a time is the best way to go.

^ Don't go be so hard on her brother, just to let you know MUSIC is HARAAM also, consider that you^, give her some space and encouragement, don't issue fatwas, even though they may be right!

music is a highly debated topic that if its haraam or not

so until it is decided im gonna Lean wit it, Rock wit it (ppl who listen to rap know what i mean )

ok anyways back on topic

im not issuing fatwas or anything

just reminding her as ppl tend to make a lot of mistakes like this and only saying this for her well being

and yes i agree with simba. its good to take 1 step at a time as getting used to islam is very hard for new converts and you have to sacrifice a lot for it.

^ Don't go be so hard on her brother, just to let you know MUSIC is HARAAM also, consider that you^, give her some space and encouragement, don't issue fatwas, even though they may be right!

music is a highly debated topic that if its haraam or not

so until it is decided im gonna Lean wit it, Rock wit it (ppl who listen to rap know what i mean )

ok anyways back on topic

im not issuing fatwas or anything

just reminding her as ppl tend to make a lot of mistakes like this and only saying this for her well being

and yes i agree with simba. its good to take 1 step at a time as getting used to islam is very hard for new converts and you have to sacrifice a lot for it.

Even though you have honorable intentions, you could do the opposite. I dont know if you are a convert or revert or born of the faith, but it is a fragile balance and if you have had the blessings of bringing poeple to the faith (sorry forgot the arabic word) you will know that gentil and easy going is the best.

Like I said, Zaira should take one step at a time meaning: searching, understanding and practicing and Ameen (May Allah accept) InshAllah (If Allah wills)


Barak Allahu feekum (Allah's blessing on you)

i am quite happy to see you converting to the divine truth: islam

alhamdullilah wa ALLAHU AKBAR!

anywayz about to living up to its standards, look (my future sis in islam inshallah)
i would recommend taking a step at a time-doing simple things such as being nice to ppl-a smile is a charity in islam, maybe read the english translation of the quran-or if you have an interest in languages-study arabic-bcz it is the best language, etc. then u can do the harder things like stop drinking or smoking or going out with ur boyfriend...take things slowly...inshallah Allah will make your path easier
u alaykum

Assalamu alaikum (Peace be upon you)
Thank you for your reply to my post - I am taking your advice - and taking one step at a time. InshAllah (If Allah wills) I will live a completely surrendered life to Allah one day.

i am quite happy to see you converting to the divine truth: islam

alhamdullilah wa ALLAHU AKBAR!

anywayz about to living up to its standards, look (my future sis in islam inshallah)
i would recommend taking a step at a time-doing simple things such as being nice to ppl-a smile is a charity in islam, maybe read the english translation of the quran-or if you have an interest in languages-study arabic-bcz it is the best language, etc. then u can do the harder things like stop drinking or smoking or going out with ur boyfriend...take things slowly...inshallah Allah will make your path easier
u alaykum

inshallah- future sister- inshallah

Assalamu alaikum dear zaira

As the above posters have already mentioned, you are not expected to rush into things nor adapt to the religion in haste - it will be a gradual process. Allah says in the Qur'an that this religion is made easy for you and He imposes no difficulty on it. Islam really is about facilitating your spiritual growth - it can take weeks, months or even years, it all really depends on experience and choices.

On the other hand, adapting to a new way of life is not a piece of cake, you can't suddenly switch from one road to another, it will take time and my humblest advice to you is that you find a teacher who can assist you. You have all of us on the forum as well.

To top things up - don't stress to much, overtime you will naturally adjust to the new way of life, take each day as it comes, learn and experience what you can... simply go with the flow!

Take care and if you ever need a chat, I'm a PM away.

Wa alaikum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu

zaira

oooh another person from Ontario, where bouts in Ontario do you live? I'll see if there's anything nearby or at a reasonable distance from you to help you (such as mosques or somethin)

- I am in Peterborough - and yourself?

zaira

oooh another person from Ontario, where bouts in Ontario do you live? I'll see if there's anything nearby or at a reasonable distance from you to help you (such as mosques or somethin)

Masha'Allah I reverted

say alhamdullilah!

alhamdullilah it is great to hear that you have reverted!
may Allah make the straight path easier for you sister

Prayer can be in any language sister Allah understands all languages and accepts all prayers, its just better to pray in arabic because Muhammed{pbuh} and his family prayed in arabic.

If your boyfriend is jewish its ok to marry him, people of the abrahamic faiths can marry each other.

- I am in Peterborough - and yourself?

zaira

oooh another person from Ontario, where bouts in Ontario do you live? I'll see if there's anything nearby or at a reasonable distance from you to help you (such as mosques or somethin)

Toronto



Edit: I found a link to masjids in Ontario, there's one in Peterborough, I don't know how big Peterborough is so I hope it isn't too far for you.

http://www.mwlcanada.org/home/pon.htm

This post has been edited by Azamnoor: May 13 2008, 08:57 PM