A Guide To Understanding Women... Options

So i found this on another forum.... Its pretty much true, so for those guys who dont really get women, this should help you out A LOT...I use 1, 3 and 8 quite often lol.

Enjoy.

What women really mean, but just don't say:

1.) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are
right and you need to shut up.

2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more
minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something,
and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing
usually end in fine.

4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5.) Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement
often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an
idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing
with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman
can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard
before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say
you're welcome.

8.) Whatever : Is a women's way of saying %@!# YOU!

9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning
this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but
is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's
wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3.Then you RUN!

XD

hehehehehe.. I use 4,5, & 9 ALOT

taha come n read this for wisdom

hehehehehe.. I use 4,5, & 9 ALOT

LOL! For me add on 1,2,3,6,7 and 8 hehe!!
But its TRUE!

Funny how none of the guys have replied

i love using no.3

Funny how none of the guys have replied

Fine.

"It's a guy thing."
--- Really means ---
"There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"Can I help with dinner?"
--- Really means ---
"Why isn't it already on the table?"

"Woman driver."
--- Really means ---
"Someone who doesn't speed, tailgate, swear, make obscene gestures and has a better driving record than me."

"I don't care what color you paint the kitchen."
--- Really means ---
"As long as it's not blue, green, pink, red, yellow, lavender, gray, mauve, black, turquoise or any other color besides white."

"Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear."
--- Really mean ---
Absolutely nothing. They're a conditioned response like Pavlov's dog drooling.

"Good idea."
--- Really means ---
"It'll never work. And I'll spend the rest of the day gloating."

"My wife doesn't understand me."
--- Really means ---
"She's heard all my stories before, and is tired of them."

"It would take too long to explain."
--- Really means ---
"I have no idea how it works."

"I'm getting more exercise lately."
--- Really means ---
"The batteries in the remote are dead."

"We're going to be late."
--- Really means ---
"Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."

"You cook just like my mother used to."
--- Really means ---
"She used the smoke detector as a meal timer, too."

"Take a break, honey, you're working too hard."
--- Really means ---
"I can't hear the football game over the vacuum cleaner."

"That's interesting, dear."
--- Really means ---
"Are you still talking?"

"Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love."
--- Really means ---
"I forgot our anniversary again."

"You expect too much of me."
--- Really means ---
"You want me to stay awake."

"That's women's work."
--- Really means ---
"It's difficult, dirty, and thankless."

"Will you marry me?"
--- Really means ---
"I can't afford to buy a dishwasher"

"Go ask your mother."
--- Really means ---
"I am incapable of making a decision."

"I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses."
--- Really means ---
"The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."

"Football is a man's game."
--- Really means ---
"Women are generally too smart to play it."

"Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal."
--- Really means ---
"I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt."

"I do help around the house."
--- Really means ---
"I once put a dirty towel in the laundry basket."

"Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing."
--- Really means ---
"And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

"I can't find it."
--- Really means ---
"It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"What did I do this time?"
--- Really means ---
"What did you catch me at?"

"What do you mean, you need new clothes?"
--- Really means ---
"You just bought new clothes 3 years ago."

"She's one of those rabid feminists."
--- Really means ---
"She refused to make my coffee."

"But I hate to go shopping."
--- Really means ---
"Because I always wind up outside the dressing room holding your purse."

"I heard you."
--- Really means ---
"I haven't a clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."

"You know I could never love anyone else."
--- Really means ---
"I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."

"You look terrific."
--- Really means ---
"Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving."

"I missed you."
--- Really means ---
"The kids are hungry and we are out of toilet paper."

"I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are."
--- Really means ---
"No one will ever see us alive again."

"We share the housework."
--- Really means ---
"I make the messes, she cleans them up."

"This relationship is getting too serious."
--- Really means ---
"I like you more than my car."

"Of course I like it, honey, you look beautiful."
--- Really means ---
"Oh, man, what have you done to yourself?"

"I don't need to read the instructions."
--- Really means ---
"I am perfectly capable of screwing it up without printed help."

"I broke up with her."
--- Really means ---
"She dumped me."

"I'll take you to a fancy restaurant."
--- Really means ---
"Someplace that doesn't have a drive-thru window."

Pasted from some other place on the internet.

^Ha funny!

I use all of the women ones.

But i can be misunderstood {which happens a LOT} it also depends on tone and situation.

Anyways Thankyou for sharing SB!

This post has been edited by JJ: May 26 2009, 02:52 PM

LOL Juan! That was a funny post

juan, blessing thinks u hacked in to my account and posted some stuff about what men say and what they really mean...

shes so dopey

Hehehehe rizzy half of that list is true!
Like "nobody would see u alive" or "am gona screw it w/o a handbook" very true! Loool

juan, blessing thinks u hacked in to my account and posted some stuff about what men say and what they really mean...

shes so dopey

I'm dying laughing don't even know how to comment. See what happens when we are the only witty ones here?

juan, blessing thinks u hacked in to my account and posted some stuff about what men say and what they really mean...

shes so dopey

You geek.

So I made a mistake.

Get over it.

It's not my fault that you're always so dull, I didn't think you would make a post like this. Pssht.

GUYS! GRRR

juan, blessing thinks u hacked in to my account and posted some stuff about what men say and what they really mean...

shes so dopey

I'm dying laughing don't even know how to comment. See what happens when we are the only witty ones here?

Puhleeeeeeeez!

How was his comment witty? It doesn't take much to amuse you guys does it? :|

You can never understand what she wants.
Now I understand why they have been called Nakis-ul-aqal.
arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

juan, blessing thinks u hacked in to my account and posted some stuff about what men say and what they really mean...

shes so dopey

You geek.

So I made a mistake.

Get over it.

It's not my fault that you're always so dull, I didn't think you would make a post like this. Pssht.

GUYS! GRRR

WHATEVERRRRRRRRRRRRRR

^OMG!

HOW RUDE!

(BTW Whatever back atcha...using female terminology, consult Sami's post for clarification )

^OMG!

HOW RUDE!

(BTW Whatever back atcha...using female terminology, consult Sami's post for clarification )

That's interesting, dear.

^OMG!

HOW RUDE!

(BTW Whatever back atcha...using female terminology, consult Sami's post for clarification )

That's interesting, dear.

Fine. Just fine.