New Converts, How is life since conversion to Islam? Options

[NOSHADYLADY4]

:
I know that it is not easy to convert from one religion to the truth of Islam. There is so much one has to decipher and learn; but the most important thing is that they have learned the truth about Allah. He is One God, with no partners, sons, etc. Is Islam easier than your other religion? How are you faring? and How is the world treating you as a new muslim? What are your personal thoughts aboout Islam?

[Brammal]

:
I know that it is not easy to convert from one religion to the truth of Islam. There is so much one has to decipher and learn; but the most important thing is that they have learned the truth about Allah. He is One God, with no partners, sons, etc. Is Islam easier than your other religion? How are you faring? and How is the world treating you as a new muslim? What are your personal thoughts aboout Islam?

Well, Christianity for me was unbearable. Islam is better than that!

The people who didn't like me before my conversion have another reason to not like me and the people who liked me before still do. So not a lot of change there.

Though, in my area there are a lot of south-Asian Muslims who are pretty clannish and have, I've since found out, some really odd prejudices and cultural problems that I wish I wasn't around. Have not had *one* serious in-person discussion with another local Muslim since regularly attending Mosque for nearly a year. I've got into a lot of one-way discussions, but I could get that on Youtube so who cares.

Islam in great as long as people don't pick-and-choose what rules they follow...any more than is necessary I suppose.

[NOSHADYLADY4]

Assalamu Alaikum:

Its okay about people not liking ya..that means they at least think about once in a while!!!

One of the hardest things a Muslim can do is to stand up to other Muslims, regardless the sect. There should be no prejudices or seperations of Muslims in Islam but you see it all the time.

Is it possible to start a dawah group in your mosque? Competition in religion is great!!!:competitive: That usually brings out many people and its a good opportunity to teach Muslims their religion correctly...not by culture.

Islam is great...period. It is not Islam that pick and choose, its the people who say they follow it correctly!! Makes ya wonder doesn't it???

May Allah continue to grant you mercy, knowledge and good judgement of character. May He make you stronger and wiser, patient and steadfast, and may He grant you a place in the Jannah, Ameen.

[Nazia1987]

I am so happy I converted to Islam. But there are things that I miss from time to time about being Jewish. I felt like I dunno... I guess at least Jewish people I knew were more liberal and laid back. Sometimes I feel I can't totally be myself around my Muslim friends because if I say a thing or two I get these looks and stares like "you are a bad Muslim." So that is just one thing I can't stand. It's not an issue of Islam, just individuals, but I dunno, it's something I miss . I guess I never felt like I had to be "on gaurd" around Jews or in a synagogue. I should say though I wsa a conservative Jew (religious branch of Judaism in the states)... back when I was orthodox... it was a different ballpark and I feel Islam is on par with orthodox Judaism in that way in that, always having to watch myself kind of way so people don't think badly of me

There is one other thing... I dunno I get really tired of going to the masjid every Friday just to have somebody up there getting so worked up over how terrible everything is in the world. It just stresses me out! By the end the guy usually sounds so upset I'm afraid he'll have a heart attack or something, and it's always the same repeated things over and over. I mean maybe its my masjid, and I need to find another. Because at the synagogue the rabbi was always really laid back and just like "this is a way we can make ourselves better people" which is EXACTLY the message at the masjid it's just that one is a really relaxed way of saying it and one is this insanely upset and freaking out and yelling in the mic way of saying it. lol I'm not saying its bad just waaaay different. I am usually pretty chill so I just don;t like that approach. I can't stand yelling for one

I also miss the festivities of Judaism. Lots of festivities. In fact, lots of festivities in Christianity too. I LOVE Ramadan, but I feel like very few celebrations in Islam! I"m not saying its bad just simply something I miss

I like this topic. It IS hard to convert and I think it's good to talk about such things so that other people can relate so we can all share! Like Brammal I understand about the cultural things. Just always good to keep in mind this is culture and not Islam. I on the other hand have had a totally different experience, on my campus all the different nationality groups are completely intermixed and hanging out and talking with the exception of the Saudis who don't talk to many non-Saudis here. I mean everyone has there groups (the Malaysians, the Indonesians, the Saudis, the Persians, the Pakistanis, etc) but we all are a larger community here

This post has been edited by Nazia1987: May 29 2010, 09:01 PM

[Simba]

I am so happy I converted to Islam. But there are things that I miss from time to time about being Jewish. I felt like I dunno... I guess at least Jewish people I knew were more liberal and laid back. Sometimes I feel I can't totally be myself around my Muslim friends because if I say a thing or two I get these looks and stares like "you are a bad Muslim." So that is just one thing I can't stand. It's not an issue of Islam, just individuals, but I dunno, it's something I miss . I guess I never felt like I had to be "on gaurd" around Jews or in a synagogue. I should say though I wsa a conservative Jew (religious branch of Judaism in the states)... back when I was orthodox... it was a different ballpark and I feel Islam is on par with orthodox Judaism in that way in that, always having to watch myself kind of way so people don't think badly of me

There is one other thing... I dunno I get really tired of going to the masjid every Friday just to have somebody up there getting so worked up over how terrible everything is in the world. It just stresses me out! By the end the guy usually sounds so upset I'm afraid he'll have a heart attack or something, and it's always the same repeated things over and over. I mean maybe its my masjid, and I need to find another. Because at the synagogue the rabbi was always really laid back and just like "this is a way we can make ourselves better people" which is EXACTLY the message at the masjid it's just that one is a really relaxed way of saying it and one is this insanely upset and freaking out and yelling in the mic way of saying it. lol I'm not saying its bad just waaaay different. I am usually pretty chill so I just don;t like that approach. I can't stand yelling for one

I also miss the festivities of Judaism. Lots of festivities. In fact, lots of festivities in Christianity too. I LOVE Ramadan, but I feel like very few celebrations in Islam! I"m not saying its bad just simply something I miss

I like this topic. It IS hard to convert and I think it's good to talk about such things so that other people can relate so we can all share! Like Brammal I understand about the cultural things. Just always good to keep in mind this is culture and not Islam. I on the other hand have had a totally different experience, on my campus all the different nationality groups are completely intermixed and hanging out and talking with the exception of the Saudis who don't talk to many non-Saudis here. I mean everyone has there groups (the Malaysians, the Indonesians, the Saudis, the Persians, the Pakistanis, etc) but we all are a larger community here

Many Muslims, especially in the West, have a mentality similar to what you would find in Southern Baptist communities (I'm from the Texas so I know them pretty well). They can both be very judgemental about your beliefs.

Now in regards to Mosques, yes I agree that topics tend to me more negative than positive at the mosques I go to. But I think that is reflective of the general Muslim population around the world which is going through some troubles, whereas the general Jewish population is better off now than many other races (almost half of Nobel Prize winners are Jewish).

And yes, I do agree that Muslims nowadays are not very celebratory. But do remember that even most Christian holidays are not Christian (Christmas was originally a pagan holiday that Christians took up so that the pagans would convert).

And Finally, try to remember that Islam is currently going through a transitional phase between many factions. Those Muslims who have a lot of culture confused with faith, those who take the Quran and start over, and those who decide to make Islam more of a guideline than rule book.

[Nazia1987]

Ya I hope I didn't sound too harsh in my post... I wasn't trying to say anything negative on Islam, was just voicing my frustrations.

What you bring up about the current state of affairs in the world for Muslims vs. Jews is really true and I had never actually considered that. Although it was way different 50 - 100 years ago, today's Jews are having the sweet life, not much troubles at all. It makes sense why in the synagogue its more laid back talking an all and even why people dont' take the religion seriously. Ya actually thanks for bringing that point up.... I just hadn't thought about it that way.

The way culture and religion has meshed together in Islam like you bring up... I dunno nearly every single difficulty I have faced in Islam comes down to this issue... people grow up in their culture and just grow up thinking naturally all these cultural things are part of the religion when in reality sometimes they're not in the religion at all or even against the religion in places. But again like you said, the Muslim state of affairs in the world has so many hardships right now... I can see why the main focus is not on fixing those problems

This post has been edited by Nazia1987: May 30 2010, 12:23 AM

[Simba]

Ya I hope I didn't sound too harsh in my post... I wasn't trying to say anything negative on Islam, was just voicing my frustrations.

What you bring up about the current state of affairs in the world for Muslims vs. Jews is really true and I had never actually considered that. Although it was way different 50 - 100 years ago, today's Jews are having the sweet life, not much troubles at all. It makes sense why in the synagogue its more laid back talking an all and even why people dont' take the religion seriously. Ya actually thanks for bringing that point up.... I just hadn't thought about it that way.

The way culture and religion has meshed together in Islam like you bring up... I dunno nearly every single difficulty I have faced in Islam comes down to this issue... people grow up in their culture and just grow up thinking naturally all these cultural things are part of the religion when in reality sometimes they're not in the religion at all or even against the religion in places. But again like you said, the Muslim state of affairs in the world has so many hardships right now... I can see why the main focus is not on fixing those problems

Just try to be patient with Muslims. And follow the Quran, not Muslims.

[NOSHADYLADY4]

I totally understand where you guys are coming from. It is never easy to give up things that you are used to. The holidays are quite different in Islam. But once a person learns about the pagan holidays, an the history, it makes it easier somehow NOT to miss it. I stopped celebrating the holidays in Christianity 2 years before I even knew and converted to Islam!! Still miss a few things but...have to keep moving on and up!!!

Yeah, those Imams can get a bit carried away...kinda sound like a preacher when I first heard a khutbah. Others just put me to sleep with long talks and saying nothing, Astaghfirullah.!!

REMEMBER: Islam has not changed since it was handed down. It is the people who have changed and are trying to change it to fit their lives. People are trying to squeeze Islam into their daily lives because the dunyah has taken up most of the space where it should be. There is fun in Islam, its just not the type of fun that get one into trouble. Islamic fun and celebrations are what makes the people happy. Most never decorate their homes outside/inside for the holidays, they never invite non-Muslims to the celebrations, or to the Jumu'ah prayers, etc.

Most young people where I am, we (I am young at heart ...LOL)make our own Islamic fun by having plays at the Mosque, Islamic Opera's, Soccer teams, Walks Against Racism, Hunger, etc, Islamic Movie Nights, all kinds of fun stuff. There are bazzars, pancake days, fish fry days, community breakfasts, Imam saturdays, Youth challenge groups and a host of other things that are just as exciting.

It is okay to think about ones old life, but try to put a bit more umph into your new one...start something yourself and see it through. Make it as fun as you can and the more you put into it the less time one will have to miss the "old life-style", Inshallah.

Islam is down these days because it's Qadr is being fulfilled. The people are not staunch and fierce like yester years, and they are not as serious or afraid about the Hellfire either. Pretty soon there will be no more Qur'an in peoples hearts, or Allah on their tongues. Now that is scary

So just be patient with yourself and let Islam carry you the way through. People make Islam boring, not the other way around. Remember also, that Jannah is surrounded by the hardships of this world and the pleasures surrounds the Hellfire. I pray that things look up for all of you, Inshallah. Just take it one day at a time and build upon your past and make your future even happier!!!

[Nazia1987]

hey thanks for the comments back. I am not missing Judaism or regretting coming to Islam because of holidays or any silly things, it's just something I miss But I am happy to do without as it wasn't a HUGE part of my life in the first place anyway

I guess my one biggest annoyance since coming to Islam is what I mentioned about always having to "watch myself". I also have encountered very many born Muslims ignorant on the religion but very how do you say self riteous simply BECAUSE they are born Muslims (on the flipside I have met so many amazing and knowledgeable born Muslims that have blown me away!).... but along the lines of this ignorance I speak of.... I have people mad at me because I haven't changed my name to a "Muslim" name. What is wrong with my own name? It is not religious in any way, where does it say in Islam that I must change my name? I am in the middle of working on masters/phd and am trying to make a name for myself. People know me by my name, it is special to me because it was given to me by my parents and I love my name! I have people say I Must wear abbaya, etc. Why is that? I wear hijab, dress conservatively, where does this come from? I am left handed, so that is wrong too. Maybe this is in hadith but I don't have the time and patience to change the hand I write and function with. People honestly ***** and moan at me on so many issues that I just stopped having many close Muslim friends. I am so frustrated so often that I don't know what to do. My closest friends are all non-Muslims now. I feel I can't talk real with any Muslim friends except one. I am being pushed to my limits!! I don't know what to do!!! aaaarg!!!! It doesn't make me reconsider my conversion but it just gives me tension which I don't like as I'm usually laid back and I don't like getting in other peoples business so I don't like when people get in my business!!!

BTW why do people bring their screaming sick kids to the jummah prayers???? WHY?!?!? WWWWHHHHHYYYYY!!!! There is a sign outside the main prayer room that has a hadith about how you should stay home if you are sick!! aaaaaahhh!!!

This post has been edited by Nazia1987: Jun 3 2010, 04:07 PM

[NOSHADYLADY4]

LOL...gotcha...Did you know that it is called Islamic "self dicipline and self awareness"? I did that for a few months until I got comfortable with my new life, then it automatically set into my heart as the best way to learn and live. I encounter many like that everyday, but i bask in the thought that Allah gives Muslim converts double blessings

1. There is nothing wrong with the name accept its meaning. If the meaning is good then keep it, if not, the Prophet(SAW) said to change it to a good name that has a good meaning. Thus it have a reflection on you and you will not be harrassed by a bad names' meaning.

2. Hijab is the total body coverinv not just the head like many muslims think. If the clothes one wears is thin, see-through, or too tight fitting, an abbayah is used to cover those clothes because they are not the clothes of modesty. If one can see their figure in their shadow, then an abbaya is necessary. The Prophet(SAW) says that this makes "people are clothed yet naked". If clothing are big enough to cover the full figure of the woman, jeans not showing the shape of the leg, skin is not visible through the sleeves or garment, etc, then the modest clothing is fine. Nothing showing but hand and face.

3. Congrats on your masters in advance!!! May Allah Ta'ala grant you the success you seek, Ameen. Being left-handed is fine, just not for eating with. This is because we clean ourselves with the left hand and it is not considered the "cleanest" hand.

4. The best of friends are Muslims. Although there may be some non-Muslims that are caring and nice. Yet we are not suppose to take them into our inner-most confidence and thoughts. A muslim is the mirror of another muslim, especially if that Muslim is practicing Islam correctly and not being over-bearing and impolite. We should be more tolerant of Muslims and even give them dawah about Islam. They are just suppose to give you the correct information and leave things in the hands of the person and Allah...unless asked!

5. Jumu'ah + screaming kids (sick or not)+ talking sisters=double aaaarrrrggggghhhhh I have been wondering that same thing for over 25 years LOOOOL!!!

Aye sis...just be patient with Muslims. Allah knows your heart and your intentions. My advice to Muslims and others is in my signature below !! Ask them how would they feel if you denounced Islam? Then see what they will say. Then let them know that you would never do that but their constant pestering would cause a weak Muslim to revert. This usually works for me!!! Hang in there sis!! You are doing fine!!

[Nazia1987]

Hey NOSHADYLADY thanks again I always enjoy your repsonses

My name doesn't have an ill meaning or any religious meaning... and I know that none of my Muslims friends know the true meaning anyway as it's in a non-English language that none of them speak....

My clothing covers everything and is totally respectful and modest. In fact I don't even wear makeup or jewlries or anything.

and about my hand yeah I changed to eat with right hand even though I didn't feel comfortable about this... but its like some people just think its terrible I'm left handed at all. I can't change the way my brain works!

the thing about being close friends.... I have heard this but.... how can I really avoid it? Should I tell all of my friends I can no longer be friends because they are not Muslim? Should I tell my mother who is a wonderful and religious person (in her own religion) that I can no longer have her in my inner circle? I guess I am willing to sin here and admit I am not a great Muslim in this respect.... because I just can not do these things....

thanks for your advice... I like what you said about telling them it would make a weaker Muslim revert because I do believe this is true!!! I will keep this in mind. I am not trying to say I haven't met some wonderful Muslims... bcause I have.... one of my closest friends is a Muslim girl at my school as well I try to find more Muslims but.... I dunno.... it's hard here....

[Kalaam]

Yes actually its a bad behaviour on the part of born Muslims that they don't see that a new convert will learn or accept everything what you believe at once. What i think is , because they care a lot for the new converts, they don't want them to be mislead, and this fear make them behave in such a way, which makes the new converts feel wronged.

There is a little communication gap, if that gap is covered up, i guess things can go very well.

By the way , for all Muslims, there is a congregation in my country every year , in which muslims from almost all the countries come, the behaviour of the muslims with one another over there, you will never see such great atmosphere anywhere else. If someone can come to Pakistan, i would really recommend that atleast once in life.

Apart from that, the new converts in communities should form a community, and tell the local imam to give them a lesson everyday after Asar or evening or night prayer. This way, they will be more attached to the religion and they will learn more. This is what i guess all imams in every non islamic country should do because it is very important.

[ExMormon]

I wish the folks at the local Islamic Center spoke English.


O_O

[NOSHADYLADY4]

Nazia:[quote] the thing about being close friends.... I have heard this but.... how can I really avoid it? Should I tell all of my friends I can no longer be friends because they are not Muslim? Should I tell my mother who is a wonderful and religious person (in her own religion) that I can no longer have her in my inner circle? I guess I am willing to sin here and admit I am not a great Muslim in this respect.... because I just can not do these things.... [/quote]

It is okay to have close friends that are Muslim. I have very few true friends as they are hard to come by and they have lasted more than 20 years, Mashallah!! Your mom is your mom, if she is supportive of you then that is great. Most moms are not so supportive or even close to their Muslim children. Maybe one day with your example of being a good Muslim, she may be one whom you will give dawah to, Inshallah. You do not have to sin to get to be close to your mom. she will always be your friend even if in a different relgion, unless shaitan changes her mind, Allahu Alim.

Your non-Muslim friends can still be your friends...just not the "intimate" kind, the "bosom kind", the one where you tell all your deep secrets, deep personal thoughts etc. I have one non-Muslim friend(by choice), we talk about everything(except the personal stuff and husbands) work, school, children, religion, etc. Been friends for over 17 years, Mashallah!

What it boils down to is, choose your Muslim friends by their character and their deen, and if they are in their deen they will be a mirror for you and vice-versa and your Non-Muslim friends also but with slight reserve. Because we never know when that friendship may turn prejudice or immoral behavior(drinking, drugs, illicit sexual behavior, etc) start to creep in. Or if their friends influence them to stop associating with you. Think of it as choosing a rare jewel-A pearl starts out as a piece of grit, the more it is spun the better the quality, once an impurity get into it, the rarity is gone and its just another pearl with little or no value. A Muslim is like a piece of gold-odd, crusty, ugly on the outside, rough edges, but when it is chipped at constantly, it becomes a fine piece of gold worth its weight, and wait!! Its what is on the inside that make the gold so valuable regardless of how it looked on the outside.

Kalaam:

Apart from that, the new converts in communities should form a community, and tell the local imam to give them a lesson everyday after Asar or evening or night prayer. This way, they will be more attached to the religion and they will learn more. This is what i guess all imams in every non islamic country should do because it is very important.

Thsi is a very great idea which should be happening all over the world!!

ex-Mormon:

I wish the folks at the local Islamic Center spoke English.

Where do you worship? This can be done through the local Imam and a group willing to have English speaking classes. Actually, if just one person speaks english, it is encumbant upon the people to speak english around him/her., especially if they themselves know how to speak english. If I can be of help, let me know, Inshallah!!

There is a lot to learn in Islam, but it never has to be over-whelming, there is a lot of ease, we just have to ask for it!! I am proud of you guys for keeping the faith in difficult times, this is what makes great Muslims, you know!!!!

[ExMormon]

I worship at my home. The Local Islamic Center, is as helpful as a used up roll of duct tape.

[Kalaam]

QUOTE
Apart from that, the new converts in communities should form a community, and tell the local imam to give them a lesson everyday after Asar or evening or night prayer. This way, they will be more attached to the religion and they will learn more. This is what i guess all imams in every non islamic country should do because it is very important.

Thsi is a very great idea which should be happening all over the world!!

It happens in our city in few masajid (mosques) and that is very good. Ask your neighbourhood elders to tell the local imam to have an half an hour lecture on Quran and hadith after night prayer. InshaAllah that will be very good for all the people and once it is started in few masajid, the other people will soon follow inshaAllah like it happened here.

[NOSHADYLADY4]

Ex-Mormon-PLEEEEAAASSSEEEEE go to the Mosque, regardless if they speak not a word of english. WHY?

Because it is mandatory for a Muslim man to attend Jumu'ah Prayers and very encouraged to attend as many prayers as possible. You see, Allah is not going to ask you about those people and their religious behavior, but He will ask you about yours though.

Even if you have to just go and pray, make Sunnahs and leave, it is far better than not going at all or praying at home for men.

THE BLESSINGS: Please do Read!!Allah says in the Holy Quran: Bow down with those who bow down.

Hadith says: salaat with jamaat has 27 times more reward than salaat alone.

The Holy Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) was constant his entire life in praying his salaat with jamaat. It wasn’t until the last few days of his (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) life when he was very sick that he gave up the jamaat.

Likewise the sahaba were the same way, meaning they never gave up the jamaat. They looked upon someone who missed jamaat as a hypocrite. The never missed the jamaat unless they had an excuse or they were travelling.

It is narrated by Abdullah ibn masood that:

“We saw that only the hypocrites left the jamaat and by doing so we considered that person to be a hypocrite. Or those people who were sick. Verily a sick person would come walking to the masjid in-between two others who would help carrying him. And he said: verily the Holy Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) taught us the sunnah and right guidance, and among the sunnah and right guidance is salaat in the masjid which there was an azan.


Jamaat is the gathering of people for the purpose of praying together and it consists of an imam and a certain number of followers.

For the five times a day salaats it is enough to have just one person behind the imam to make a valid jamaat.

For the Friday prayer three people are necessary to pray behind the imam for the salaat to be valid.

To pray in jamaat is sunnah muakkadah for men and it is close to wajib. It is not permissible to leave the jamaat except if you have a valid sharia excuse. If you don’t have a valid excuse then you will be sinning. It is a condition for the validity of the eid namaaz and the Friday jumuah namaaz that they are performed in jamaat. Both the Friday prayer and the eid prayers will not accepted unless they are prayed in jamaat.

It is also sunnah muakkadah to pray the tarawih namaaz in ramadhan in jamaat along with the witr namaaz.

Outside of ramadhan it is makrooh to pray witr in jamaat.

It is makrooh to pray the lunar eclipse in jamaat.

It is makrooh to pray nafl in jamaat when you make an announcement or call the people to this namaaz. If people happen to gather together without announcing or preplanning then it would be jaiz.

It is makrooh to pray a second jamaat in a neighbourhood masjid that has an imam and muazzin and they have already prayed the same namaaz by calling the azan and iqamat. It would be permissible to pray a second jamaat at a different location than the first.

So even if no one speaks english to you, YOU can be a prime example of the faithful Muslim I know that you are, Allah Knows Best! And teach the others in the process!!I have told this to many sisters for their husbands and finally they get what I was saying. Now they attend all the time, Mashallah. May Allah Ta'ala make you stronger in your deen and give you much patience with your brothers, Ameen. I am praying that this will encourage you to just go. I wish to see you gain Paradise and praises from Allah, Akhi!!!
Just the rantings of an old person female of corse!! LOOOOOL

[Kalaam]

Rightly said sister, mashaAllah

[NOSHADYLADY4]

Mashallah...Just want the best for my brothers and sisters in Islam!!!

This post has been edited by NOSHADYLADY4: Jun 6 2010, 05:16 PM

[ExMormon]

I don't have a ride to a Mosque/Islamic Center either way. Though I would like to, if nothing else to meet another Muslim.

"Mother, can you drive me to the ghetto so I can attend a Religious Service you do not approve of?"


"No."