i just joined this site recently and actually like the topics being discussed here i was just wanting your thoughts in what the suitable age to get married is

i personally think it is 18 i myself am 18 too and am thinkin of getting married

can i have your thoughts in what i should do

get married.

20 and over.
Its good your thinking, well you should be ideally, it completes half of your religion in Islam and is somethin to look forward to!
Plus it eliminates all the mistrust and you can finally enjoy!
Id advise you to wait a couple of years and see what happens in that time.
Good luck!

JJ

You can't go by physical age.. Its the maturity level. I know some 28 year olds that are not ready to marry.

Whenever you are financially set.

thanks for your thoughts but i agree with immaslapyou just get married

and just like jj said IT IS SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD LOLLL

AND I THINK IT DOES DEPEND ON YOUR MATURITY and im finantional settled ive got more than everything MASHALLAH

You might want to read some posts in the following thread:
http://muslimonline.org/forum/index.php?s=...ost&p=80335

I'll second most of what's in the link, in response to your thread question.

read the thread posted by the sister above.. iA iv just made some comments that might come in handy.

It will happen when the time is right,.. Inshallah and you will know when tht time is

sunnah to get married young but i dont think too young

I beg your pardon, whats so funny about that?
You will probably find immature people married too you know.

-JJ

Well.. age isn't that important.. I agree with Juan it should be based on maturity..

and marriage could be fun, but 2 tips>>
1.you have to be %100 sure of the guy... %99 isn't good enough.. when u r sure, u'll be happier..
2.marriage is a HUGE responsibilit..

u r young.. I say have fun.. then get married

~wonderer

I believe Islam haven't restricted a specific age for marriage because it's depend on how person become mature and how he can handle his responsibility in his married life.

good luck in your life and God bless you

younger is better

Too young = not good because you don't want to regret the rest of your life not taking marriage seriously.
My friend once told meh, when you get married your life is over...i didn't get what she meant. But i think she meant you have more responsibilities and have to do things you don't want to do. Your bound to the marriage obligations for the rest of your life. You need to be prepared.

Like that Lion King song 'Beee prepaaareed!!'

13 for girls, guys whenever, young though

Whats this, double standards?

What makes you think a 13 year old girl (in this day and age) should get married?? Do you think they'd be able to cope with the responsibilities..?

well it's better than getting pregnant without knowing who the father is ain't it?

Oh because the girl got pregnant by herself and every young female goes through that process.

/sarcasm

This type of thinking is back from cave men times, really get with the real picture. You seem to have forgotten that a male would also take part in the process.

Respecta do you live under a rock or something? Are you forgetting it takes TWO to make a baby? Someone kindly give him the birds and bees talk.

Your basically saying a girlof 13 should marry simply to prevent her getting pregnant? Yeah thats the kind of system we need today, brilliant. How many men sleep around and don't even know how many children they might have?

Whatever happened to educating youngsters further on the issue of pregnancy? Rather than forcing them to marry when they probably haven't even reached puberty yet.

I totally totally 100% agree with iamcrazy and sami here and there's nothing more I could add...Umar, your ideas on reproduction are seriously flawed..

guys can easily get away with it, a girl and guy do an act, who will it show upon, the guy or the girl? definitely the girl, her body starts to change, you know the process i don't have to go through it with you. a guy will always be the same, lets take the example of the kid becoming a father at 13, his body still the same, anyone woulda still think he's an innocent kid, but the girl, her body has changed so much. men should get married young too, coz they can't control their desires or urges they have. whereas women can. as soon as they become mature then they should. some girls 16, some girls 18, some girls even bloody 23. men, as soon as they realize the importance of it.

^That's a terrible justification to why girls should get married at 13...and I don't actually get the point of that post..

Point- the bit i highlighted i believe is correct, the rest is terrible justification like blessing said.

SO you agree with this : -http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2238252.ece

A little boy who looks about 8, has a kid at 13...its child abuse!

=\

Wow. That's the line of thoughts I would expect my neighbourhood to come out with.. its time you removed cultural baggage out of your life, was not expecting that from you Umar, we're meant to be a lot more open minded to the truth.

A female is nor more responsible for having committing the sin than the male.

You've just contradicted yourself there. If you agree women are more able at controlling their desires, why should they be married off at 13? Surely they are sensible enough to know they shouldnt be sleeping around. Your reasoning doesn't make sense. 

ye i'm kinda lost myself, my bad. you people are right , ignore me. sorry for wastin your time

^^nah.. it happens.
I think a person should get married young but providing they have the mental capacity to take on the responsibilty of married life. im 19 now and i got married at 16 but the burdens not so much for me as we both have family support and stuff like that and im not actually living with him visa problems . However, there may be people who don't have that support and have different circumstances so they need to become "independant" before they consider marriage.

It's wikid, that marriage is half your faith too thats a good motivation for those who attempt to follow religion and it saves one from heinous sins.
I think alot of marriage ceremonies probably are based on circumstances though the people in question should be looked over in the sense that they "know" what they are doing and be ready for such a huge commitment. A person should also be serious and know what to expect i.e. not run away after leaving the wife pregnant etc.

so I do recommend young marriage but also think circumstances and mentality and
choice of partner should always be considered.

Just my opinion .. open to criticism

Thank you for that.

Ideally, in our society, I think around 18-20 is when marriage should be considered, given the fact that the person is mentally capable. Our society advertises the single life and making money too much that family is undermined.

^ i agree to that

The age of marriage should be when the bones get completed. And Quran prescribes the age in these words:

وَإِذَا بَلَغَ الْأَطْفَالُ مِنكُمُ الْحُلُمَ
And when children amongst you enter adolescence [leaving behind childhood] [Refer 24:59]

This is the time when boy and girl experiences wet-dream. Menstruation and ejaculation do not make a girl a woman and a boy a man.
This is NOT the age of Nikah.

النِّكَاح وَابْتَلُواْ الْيَتَامَى حَتَّى إِذَا بَلَغُواْ
{Refer 4:06]

What is the point in time when boy and girl leave behind الْحُلُمَ and enter the age of Nikah? This is told:

وَلاَ تَقْرَبُواْ مَالَ الْيَتِيمِ إِلاَّ بِالَّتِي
هِيَ أَحْسَنُ حَتَّى يَبْلُغَ أَشُدَّهُ
{Refer 6:152; 17:34}

أَشُدَّ explains everything.

And marriage is not merely a contract for making sex permissible; it is a comprehensive social contract between a man and woman and society/state is the third party; guardian and protector of the interests of both the contracting parties in accordance with the law.

وَأُحِلَّ لَكُم مَّا وَرَاءَ ذَلِكُمْ

For what are those women made permissible?

أَن تَبْتَغُواْ بِأَمْوَالِكُم
That you people seek them/make efforts to engage them with your wealth.

But throughout history we know people seek women with their wealth for two purposes, for marriage and for merely enjoying sex. But Qur'an declares women as permissible for one purpose and negates the other purpose.

مُّحْصِنِينَ غَيْرَ مُسَافِحِينَ
Seek women with your wealth like those people who seek for marriage/keeping them as pearl, opposite of those men who seek women with their wealth only to “pour water”

In humans, the process of bone hardening, or ossification, is completed at about the age of 25. The last bone to ossify is the breast bone.

I agree with you. Is the prophet's pbuh time women matured MUCH earlier, we are not 1000+ years ago and I dont want to say it but even science says evolution has made us women mature a lot later than before, like the late teens: 16 17 18

There is no reason to marry that young now-a-days. 1000+years ago we only lived until 50 if lucky, now it's way different.

MASHA'ALLAH! Oh my goodness, mashaallah mashaallah mashaallah

Thats a perfect point. perfect post

I hope Allah will reward you for using your senses inshaallah!!!!

I dont think you all understood what respecta was saying....

eh Ima stay out of it.

I think you'll find we DID understand his point, if anything it's not his alone, it's shared by the hardcore desi masses/and others it's just simply not justified nor reasonable.

women can and should get married earlier than their male counterparts. They age faster, the requirements of marriage are less for them, and its better to be married.

very simple yet very true reasons...and remember in islam, Divorce is always an option.

..I dont think any one disagrees with that, clearly you haven't read the reasoning used by respecta, which he respectfully ditched later.

Divorce may be an option but it is makrooh.

The answer is in the life of our Holy Prophet. Lets ask ourselves at what age did he get married and at what age did he give his daughters out for marriage. That is how i beleive we can get most of our queries answered.

Not just him though, those marriages around him he approved of. The ages of his wives, and the ages of those close around him when they got married.

Now we're talking fiqh

U should consider that we live in a different era & 9 yr old gals nowadays r super immature :s lol even 17 is still young lol
anywho, when mr.perfect is there then it's the right time

Individual shortcomings, don't change the fiqh. Mr. Perfect ain't in existence. Hmm wrote something a few days ago about this, if I find it I'll share it.

Who disagreed with that? It seemed as though (to put it bluntly) Respecta was going on about how women should get married at 13 because otherwise if they get pregnant, they wont be able to hide it unlike the man who impregnates her...
And as iamcrazy said..divorce is makrooh. It's the least liked act out of all the things Allah has made halal for us.



You're comparing women and men in those times to women and men here. Even you should know, the laws of fiqh will change slightly when the people change, to accommodate for everyone. The issue of Niqab is one example.



I absolutely agree, individual shortcomings do not change the fiqh. I agree, a woman sould get married young, so should a man...when they are emotionally and physically mature (not to mention, the guy should be able to provide for the woman). And no one around here argued with that in the first place, so you're really just preaching to the choir.

Um...fiqh doesn't change...the reasoning behind fatwa change but the fiqh doesnt. If we changed the laws every few years we'd be riding a big bid'a boat in a big bid'a ocean heading to a big bid'a whirpool swirling right down into jahanam.


Men should be married young too, but before that they should be able to provide which for most means they shouldn't get married too young, or as young as women do. Every choir has a preacher, and every choir sits and listens while he preaches, how else would they know what to sing about?

Now if your practices change based upon what you KNOW of the fiqh, then thats different, just know that the quran has been preserved, as have its practices, and the scholarly opinions on its issues dating back to the prophet. We should all make a note to not confuse fiqh with sharia.

I guess I may be one of the few that understood brother Umars first few posts, but as he conceded so shall I, but as expected from the ice queen, this was interesting.
(the 'even you should no' made even this cold brother shiver)

hmmm maybe I should give an an example too...
Fiqh doesnt change, but it expands. Unlike sharia its not so much based on scholarly opinion as it is the quran and the sunnah, UNDERSTANDING issues plays a big part in it though.

1st example, Cigarettes.
It was though to be DISLIKED, but when the scholars understood it was poisonous, it became FORBIDDEN.

2nd example, Firearms.
They were considered forbidden, until they became the new face of warfare in which they became allowed.

etc etc

The niqab issue is an issue of scholarly disagreement. Though none can argue(based on fiqh) that it shouldn't at least be recommended...

I still don't get what you're trying to prove. I never said women and men should get married at the same age..I do believe that women ought to get married at an earlier age than men precisely due to the reason you stated. I didn't agree with the way Respecta used women getting pregnant due to pre-maritial relations as a general reason to get married earlier. (at the age of 13 for eg) I didn't agree with his complete disregard for the man who contributed to her pregnancy.

The Niqab issue: Imam Abu Hanifa A typical presentation of the rules of dress (including hijab) based on the traditional sources of Hanafi fiqh can be found at: Regulations of Clothing. It is clear from reading this that the position of the Hanafi madhhab is that niqab is mustahabb(according to some scholars, wajib in times of fitna) but not fard.




Do you see how the ruling changed from mustahabb to waajib (which is quite a difference) because people and times have changed? That's what I meant by the laws changing slightly..(maybe I should have used a better word than change, but that was my own shortcoming.) Obviously, I didn't mean drastic changes. This sentence of yours:



Are you saying that Shariah is based on scholarly opinion whereas Fiqh is based more on the Quran and Hadith? Or have I understood that wrong? =/
Because I always thought Fiqh to comprise more on Ijma' and Qiyas...and Shariah (Islamic law/divine law) to be based more on Quran and Hadith..

But if you agree with what I just said there..that would mean that it is possible for fiqh to change whereas Shariah is concrete..

hmm, the fiqh is one of the basis of the sharia. Fiqh is the text book sharia i sth eimplemention of the law.

Fiqh doesn't change, because its not scholarly opinion, its scholarly understanding. It expands to include more issues, or condenses when issues its absorbed are found to be the same as past issues.

Like abortion. Some of us here would think its new, as did some scholars when it was legalized in america. And they formulated new opinions on it. But as we look into fiqh, its not new as it was a practice of pagans during the time of the prophet(SAWS). And though some circumstances have changed the root issue is the same.

Same with the cigarettes, the ruling didnt change, the scholars just came to an understanding that "oh this thing kills people" so therefore because killing yourself is forbidden, it became forbidden. It use just be that thing that smells bad so you should smoke and go to the masjid etc.(and yet people still go to the masjid and even eat in the masjid with things made from onions and other foul smelling things )

Scholarly opinions are inherited, they were inherited from the prophet(SAWS) until the time of the salaf, now they're inherited from them.

Its in this manner islamic law is never corrupted. The hearts of men never change after all...

The implementation of the shariah depends on the person in the lack of Muslim governance, etc etc. but thats a completely different issue

We always have the source of all rulings in the sunnah, and the source of all imploications and interpretations in the salaf.

salamalaykum

i got married when i was 3

This isn't the silly/ramble area Maj, keep up.

hahaha, before I went serious I wanted to post "the best age is when you are conceived"

And yet you still managed to post it.

Can we get back on track please people.