i was reading through earlier topics and posts in the sectarian section. i just was feelin so... sad, just remembered some of Allah's words:
“Nay! They say: "We found our fathers following a certain religion, and we do guide ourselves by their footsteps."
[Az-Zukhruf 43:22]
and
…and be not of Al-Mushrikûn (the polytheists, idolaters, disbelievers in the Oneness of Allah).Of those who split up their religion , and became sects, each sect rejoicing in that which is with it.[Ar-Rum 30:32]
I just wanted to get out this depression (i think its depression coz my heart feels quite heavy).I felt recounting earlier days and moments of thru childhood until recent would help me brighten up.and i want to write coz it makes me feel better.i'm going to recollect memories(only memories having atleast a vague relation with religion in my life so it may or may not sound like a story) .here goes........
I live in India in a city called Bangalore (pls dont thnk of the suicide bmbrs invlvd in glasgow).Back in the early days of my childhood it used to be a very peaceful city, it was called the pensioners' paradise, not much hustle bustle, a city of gardens(and still is called the garden city of India).Though being born in a muslim family, for the most part we werent practising muslims and i never i had the zeal for islam.However most muslims atleast arrange to teach their children about islam(that is apart from having belief in Allah and salah) by arranging an arabic teacher(obviously muslim) to teach how to read arabic and basic fundamentals of islam, and so this is my earlist remembrable memory of learning islam.
I was six and hardly remember my first teacher's face(actually i dont )may Allah forgive him.He used to come home to teach after school( and after i finished watching my cartoons).He taught my brother and me in a way that was(and probably is still taught the same way by many) using a harsh tone and would resort hitting
(with a small cane on the knuckles) if we didnt pronounce the same way as he did(and also not doing homework 
actually ididnt have much time to complete, had to go for karate class ,and later had to do schoolhomework).I never liked this person and hated my arabic classes.later on the hazrat(viz. out of respest for teacher) wanted us to spend more time on islamic studies than school work, and increased the homework(and the result of not completing was harsh punishment, afrieghtening experience!), so he was asked to stop teaching when he refused to compromise the amount of time to be spent on islamic studies, for me it was more of a relief from from a mental and physical torture of facing him(and rcieving punishments everyday 
) .So for the next couple of yrs we didnt have any teacher,my my nxt teachr was when iwas in my 4th std(grade).He was a nice man(may allah forgive him).He had different (and sometimes funny)interesting ways of of explaining of Islam, and i like him very much for it.He always used to encourage questions and i loved asking him.
Meanwhile at school, I was always called a daydreamer by the teachers right thru nursery, we had a nice campus(it is spread over 14 acres)with many trees (which had many squirrels and birds which i liked watching rather than listening in the class).consequently i didnt make many friends, always "in my own world" as my teachers used to complain to mum. I dont remeber when i started thinking why things existed as they were, but i do remember that i used to think in this fashion many times, for eg what if i were an animal or a bird.And why did i have to exist in the first place.
Hindus were the majority in our class( though the school belonged to and run by Protestant Crishtians built by the British), and i was slowly exposed to hindu philososphy and taught christianity at school.I was more comfortable with the Christians as they shared most of our prophets and was taught about them in scripture classes.Occasionally there used to be discussions about why they were doing what they were doing, eg hindus worshipping cows, they would inturn ask their parents for answers(some would just say bcoz they are god!).So they said that everything was a manifestation of god, so it was ok , and since god was everything they could worship anyhting they felt like and that would mean worshipping and thanking god for that favor eg: cows for milk , sun for light and heat etc.god was also present in every human being in more or less proportions therefore everyone has some good in him/her.a person of higher realisation can unite with god so that god is in him and he is god.For some reason i felt that this concept should be given a possibility, and i dont know for how long i was in a dilemma as to what was the truth.then finally i decided that no matter how strong this theory it simply does not befitt god to take an animal form and have all the organs and processes of an animal eating extcreting sex(na'oozubillah),it was done for good , and i felt an elevation in my eeman.The Christians were better as they say and used to make us say everday before class:
Our Father , Who art in heaven hallowed be Thy Name ,on Earth as it is in heaven.but yet at this stage i was still believivg that Allah is Everywhere.
Zakir Naik Becomes my hero
may be out of sheer coincidence that a few days since i recovered from this filthy aqeeda of hindus that i heard Dr Zakir Naiks speech in a debate called nonveg food permitted or prohibited for man.So impressed by his confidence and logic , i wanted to be like him. This Alhamdulillah was the first confident and zealous move towards understanding , and spreading islam and became sure of its truthfulness after a big trial in the early part of my life. Allahuakbar, Allah guides the truthful and sincere .
In my eighth std(grade)' i came across a book called 'A Breif History of Time'By Stephen Hawkings( if u havent read it i suggest u read it).I had always been interested in science and was praised by teachers , but it was not until i came across this book that i started loving astrophysics and quantum mechanics .the following summer holidays i joined an islamic summer camp. and in this camp they should us Harun Yahya's video The Miracles of the Quran that scientifically explained the Qur'an's validity , of how the the mordern scientific conclusions only found using the most sophisticated instruments confirms what is in the Qur'an.
It was no less than a miracle for me that The Big bang theory , and the expanding Universe as explained by Stephen Hawkings
were only confirming to what the Qur'an had said 1400 yrs ago.
(Oh, i forget to mention one more of the trials: THE THEORY OF EVOLUTION . I believed in this theory thought that although Allah made Adam , it was possible that he made him in stages of evolution!)
the next to come in line in the same summer camp was a video called camouflage in nature by Harun Yahya. Obviously this triggered of a search for more of his works and ended up findidng out the truth about The Theory of Evolution and that it is not a scientific theory rather a philosophical theory under the disguise of science where as the truth was , this theory was contradicting scientific and archeological evidences.
Now the Next Thing
Any person who has read any of Harun Yahya's works will not be ignorant of what he says as " The Illusion of Matter and The myth of Materialism , being impressed by other works of his i took for granted that whatever he said was the truth . The entire thing boils down to :" Nothing Exists but Allah " in other words Allah is everything . Given the logical reasoning he had given i had accepted the theory , tried to spread this "knowledge". (Almost everytime ppl thought i had lost my mind as i was making statements that ur "senses are not reliable, whatever u see, touch, hear etc does not exist but rather they are perceptions made by allah, and you also dont exist , all that exists is Allah , and Allah makes you feel you exist!).During this period i had felt that the sahabas and the salaf were ignorant of this knowledge, as there were ample narrations of them affirming Allah's sifaat of Being above his Throne , his rising over his throne.I Also hated the so called literal interpreters of what Allah said about himself.
Problem!
According to the Big Bang Theory the universe had a begining . Expanding Universe suggests that universe was once a dense mass billions of years ago. and then the explosion happens and the universe starts expanding at a rapid pace. The details of explaing the interwoven nature of space and time will tike pages ,( if u have any doubts u can ask) fo now it is sufficient to know that space is curved due to this and that there is no boundry of the universe. so accordingly does Allah have a begining or does AllahAllah depend on time?, is he the space which is now expanding? Na'oozubillah. There is no question of applying logic when we have no knowledge of him . There are far more things in our own universe and about our universe that go beyond the realm of logic(and this does not mean it is illogicla, it is beyond human comprahension).There i felt the futility in applying logic to things which Allah has not given :
“… and they will never encompass anything of His
Knowledge.” [Ta-Ha 20:110]
Then Let us Affirm what Allah has said about himself and what the prophet said about him without asking How Why and Where without comparing him to any thing :
“There is nothing like unto Him, and He is the All-Hearer, All-Seer.” [al-Shoora 42:11].
Allaah knows and is aware of all things. Nothing on earth or in heaven is hidden from Him, be it words or deeds, movements or cessation of movement, acts of obedience or acts of disobedience.
“Know you not that Allaah knows all that is in the heaven and on the earth? Verily, it is (all) in the Book (Al-Lawh Al-Mahfooz). Verily, that is easy for Allaah” [al-Hajj 22:70 – interpretation of the meaning]
Allaah has singled out the believers for additional blessings in this world, as He has blessed them with Islam, and chosen them to be guided by the Qur’aan, and He will bless them exclusively in Paradise with the greatest blessing that He can bestow, which is the honour of looking upon His holy Face in the Paradise of ‘Adan, as He says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Some faces that Day shall be Naadirah (shining and radiant).
Looking at their Lord (Allaah)”
[al-Qiyaamah :22-23]
The believers will see Allah, and this will be their reward , greater than paridise.
Deprivation and loss that awaits the sinners whom Allaah warns with the words (interpretation of the meaning):
“Nay! Surely, they (evil doers) will be veiled from seeing their Lord that Day” [al-Mutafiffoon 83:15]
With regard to the evidence in the Sunnah, there is a great deal of it. For example:
Al-Bukhaari (6088) and Muslim (267) narrated from Abu Hurayrah that some people said: “O Messenger of Allaah, will we see our Lord on the Day of Resurrection?” The Messenger of Allaah said, “Do you doubt that you see the moon on the night when it is full?” They said, “No, O Messenger of Allaah.” He said, ‘Do you doubt that you see the sun when there is no cloud?” They said, “No, O Messenger of Allaah.” He said, “You will see Him likewise…”
al-Bukhaari (4500) and Muslim (6890) narrated from Abu Moosa that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Two gardens of silver, their vessels and everything in them, and two gardens of gold, their vessels and everything in them. And there will be nothing between the people and their seeing their Lord, may He be blessed and exalted, except the veil of pride concealing His Face in the Paradise of ‘Adan.”
The ahaadeeth about seeing Allaah were narrated by nearly thirty Sahaabah. Whoever learns them will have certain knowledge that the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said them. So whoever claims after this that no one will see Allaah in the Hereafter is rejecting the Qur’aan and the message with which Allaah sent His Messengers, and he is exposing himself to the stern warning mentioned in the aayah (interpretation of the meaning):
“Nay! Surely, they (evil doers) will be veiled from seeing their Lord that Day” [al-Mutafiffoon 83:15]
so alhamdulillah that he guided me to the right approach , the approach that the salaf took ref to
http://muslimonline.org/forum/index.php?showtopic=7044
for details of the aqeeda of salaf
.