Do you consider it dishonesty?



If you kept some hidden facts about you that happened in the past & you r over it??





Like you meet this amazing partner to be.. and you have some things in your past that you dislike & you think it'll be discouraging for her/him, so you leave some facts out.. would that be lying??

depends if u think he would want to know.

hmmmm.. explain more.. everyone wants 2 know everything.. but like it wouldn't matter if he/she knew or not..

so if it wouldnt matter to him, then i would say its ok to leave it out.

but if it was something that did matter to him, or at least, *you think* it would matter to him, then not telling him is being dishonest.

but no one's perfect, so a little bit of "dishonesty" might be essential...for some

Some of these threads are..

it depends on the person

I agree with Rizwan

I think if it does matter to him or you think so, you should tell him
if not you can hide it without lying

coz you might made mistakes before you met him .. and this "small & few" mistakes is done and have no effect on the future at all
but if he knew it he may go off or at least you will make a scare in his heart

What is the secret? Tell us then we will be able to know if keeping it a secret is dishonest.

hehehehe funny Juan
I don't have any secrets.. I'm an open book
It was just a general question..

and hmmmm riz.. I dk.. how would you know if it matters to him/her or not :S :S
like it's funny when u see a movie & the guy is making a huge deal that the girl she didn't tell him abt dating some other dude who turned to be his friend.. tho its over :S
or like when the boy is from a super poor enviro & he changed, but he didn't really mention it to the girl.. then she'd find out & would make huge drama out of it :S
like wth :S y the big deal in leaving out some facts :S

Cause then one thinks if she didn't tell me something small what else could she be hiding?

I think it depends on what kind of a person you and your spouse are which determines the motivations for wanting to know, or not needing to know about the past.

I also think some people want to read people's emotions, habits and what not, and sometimes the spouse can come across as unreadable - hence if a "secret" from the past is revealed, it can be taken to a degree seriously.

Whether or not you reveal your past is not the issue; rather, it's whether your spouse is mature enough to handle it appropriately... cuz in some situations, one's past can be used against the person when they fall short of their expectations - does this act cancel out the act of "lying"?

Otherwise many factors explain why revelations of the past, big or small, are taken seriously - sometimes it's one's own weaknesses, other times it's questioning the trust bond, while it can also impede greater understanding between couples.

I personally consider only important details from the past... not necessarily stuff that have little to no relevance to the relationship, but it's good to talk about anything pretty randomly if your spouse is cool with you.

Um well if you're going to spend the rest of your life with this person then you'll end up telling them anyways i guess.

lool yaaah JJ.. u'll be outa stories & u'll need something to fill the time & u'll be like wth.. it's been 27 yrs already.. it'll be a fun talk

Binty! very wise

Wooooooow Binty! You're great. MASHALLAH

About dishonesty its BAD.

That's probably our biggest downfall. The truth is often bitter, and to know everything may cause some problems...but it depends doesn't it..on how big the thing is that you're hiding. If it's something that could potentially harm the relationship later on..it's probably best to let them know early on.

lolll



that is totally true if u hide something once then its hard to belive you the next time
abit like the boy who criied wolf i guess lol that story is a great example

i personally think it would be harder for you to live with the thing your keeping hidden than it would to your partner

also very true if you have a very guilty concience if its something that will effect your relationship