The nobleness of women will always be on the line when we fail to apply Islamic ettiquetes and graces.
Friends come and go these days. But what if they choose to stay? What are your options as a muslimah? In Islam we have to understand the religious rules and obligations and apply them to our lives everyday. Some women feel that it is okay to have male friends and that there is nothing wrong with it. Regardless if we can "handle ourselves" or not. They will vehemently defend their right to have men in their lives who are not Mahram.
Muslim women should be in the company of Mahram men whenever possible. We know that there is school, college, and our jobs and that sometimes we cannot avoid being in the company of muslim or non-muslim males. Work and school atmosphere is okay but what happens when it comes to males wanting to be friends or more.
Most times we see friends as people we can "hang out" with, party with, be alone with to chat. This is not proper adab in Islam. As Muslim women we should not be in these situations unless there is a legitimate reason to do so, work, school, college, etc. Most muslim women and young girls want to have this type of freedom to have relations with males. Most find nothing wrong with it.
Islam does not promote or allow free intermingling of the sexes for the simple reason that whenever men and women are together, there surely can or always the possibility, whether latent or actual, of being tempted to do something improper. Either we lable it as a simple mistake or it just happened. If we were not in the position in the first place, nothing would happen. We forget that Shaitan is always in the innocent mix..
Two types of men:
Mahram-these are the men who are halal for women to be in their company as the women cannot marry these men.(fathers, uncles, grandfathers, nephews, sons, and grandsons) cousins are omitted as they can be married in Islam.
Non-Mahram-these are the men who are haram for women and women can marry them.
As muslim women we must lower our gaze and guard our mosdesty even when we are at school, college, stores, etc. Most men/women cannot held a relationship in the friendly way, they usually want more. They tend to get to know far too much about eachother than they should. Their socializing tends to put them in a predictable position. Most muslim women are becomming so westernized in their Islam that they truly cannot see beyond their nafs at times. Thus having male friends starts to be "no big deal" to them.
Take for example:
You have diabetes. The doctor says not to have sugar. You love sugar and feel that even a little cannot hurt. So you sneak and have sugar in all forms little at a time. Because you do not feel bad, you assume that the doctor was wrong. So you outright start to consume more sugar until one day your sugar has risen so high that you pass out. The doctor says that your sugar high could have caused a stroke, blindness, kidney failure or many other illnesses. You realize that you just have to leave the sugar alone if you want good health. Without all the excess sugar, your body is back to normal, and your sugar is under control. But you sustained nerve damage and some numbness in your limbs. Was the sugar worth having the damage to the body? Would you give it up and find a way to consume natural sugar? Would you keep eating sugar because you feel that you are going to die from something?
This is somewhat the same as having male friends. What happens when you wish to marry? Would your new husband like it if you had these male friends? Your in-laws? Would you allow them to visit if hubby was not home? Would you feel good confiding in your male friend? What if he gets angry with you and tell your secrets? What if he describes you to his friends? So many things could go wrong. Just like diabetes-it can be a silent killer-a killer of the chastity, a killer of the emotions, and affections.
Just my 2cents worth. What do you say?