Many men and women do not take the time to know their rights in Islam when it comes to marriage. Allah says in Qur'an:

"And they (women) have rights similar to those (of men) over them in kindness, and men are a degree above them. Allah is Mighty, Wise." (Al-Baqaraqh: 228)
[This degree means that the man is the head of the house and maintainer of the woman and he uses his means, not hers, to support the woman.]

What do you think these rights consist of and are they fair rights?

Why are gender roles necessary at all?

They are necessary because Allah says that they are.

Each person should know what they are expected of and they are to contribute. If one knows their roles and rights, it is easier to follow a direct course if the marriage ends. However, not all people see things the same.

JazzakAllah

Great sharing......

totally ^
i agree with you there
it also benefits the relationship in that sense as ones partner would know what to except from the spouse and would know what to be excepected of
alhumdulillah, if anyone follows the sunnah also i doubt that there would be any confusion in a marriage of who needs to do what as each of the persons would know their rights and roles which would mA lead to a successful marriage and iA thereafter jannah !

Do most muslim women go to school and get a job?

hey ^

id just like to let you know that im from a very religious family and so are the rest of my family (women) and most of our family weras hijaab and nikaab (cover our whole body including the face)
weve been veryy well educated and have good results in most of our main exams and most of us have an excellent job
i myself work for my dad (accountant)
the reason for me telling you this is
im trying remove all this false information from your mind towards muslim women and islam

hey,im a married women i can go out.i study.learnt to drive.......go out with my friends...do everything that u can do nim still married....n speaking from experience marriage gave me more freedom sooooooo i think u need to remove the veil from ur heart n see wat a real musllim women is (sorry if i sound harsh)

and ooh by the way i wear hijab jilbab n niqab

I'm glad to hear it. Apparently you don't need my concern! =) Well...keep up the good work =)

Did you all go to college? Can muslim women be an imam?

I went to college, three degrees, teach Islamic Studies, help open an Islamic week-end-school, teach a women's class,and go for dawah anywhere we are needed! Muslim women can do these things. I just consult with my hubby to mae sure we are on the same page, and I am off!

[A woman from one of the deviated sects of Islam did this, she was not supported by the scholars, not Islamic Jurisprudence. There have been others to lead men but most of the controversy is out of women's liberation. My 2 cents]

No, women cannot be Imams over men. But they can be Imams at all women's groups. And it is not like what the men do. We are chosen from the most knowledgable women to lead the prayers(she in in the middle of the prayer line and not out front), bring a program, speak on the women's behalf, etc. [ There is a consensus among Muslim jurists that a woman is not allowed to lead men in a Mosque or congregation. Also, she is not allowed to lead people in a Friday Prayer or to deliver the Friday khutbah. She is, however, allowed to lead a congregation consisting only of women. ]

There are 4 Madhabs() 2 say it is okay for women to lead the women, 2 says no even leading women.

There is nowhere in Hadith, or Qur'an that says a woman can be and Imam, like competing in the Mosque with the men. In Hadith: The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) is reported to have said “Pray as you see me praying.” And since Islam, men are the ones to lead the prayers as no woman ever led the Prophet in prayers.

There will be times when women and men will do things in the name of Islam and not according to Qur'an and Sunnah.

Congratulations on all your degrees! What did you study?



If the woman is a respected Muslim, why can't she lead the men in prayer? When Muhammad (pbuh) said "Pray as you see me praying" surely he meant women as well as men, right?

well see we women get periods and bleeding after childbirth n in these times we dnt have to pray so i guess thats why its one less burden for us women..

Even if the woman is a respected Muslim, she still cannot lead men in Salat. This was never a problem during the Prophet's time, Mashallah. When the Prophet said: “pray as you see me praying”, "he or another man lead the prayers., not a woman. Or corse women then knew the Islamic laws and did not try to change them or compete with the men for them.

Women today want to do everything a man does. Because they are not first in leadership, they are oppressed. When a thing is innovated in Islam, it is a sin to follow it.

EXAMPLE:
Jumu’ah prayer is not Fard (obligatory) for woman, it is Fard only for men in Islam. So therefore a women is not eligable to lead the salat.

As sister Yasmin mentions, even the women cannot pray while they are on their periods. Men do not have this problem.

All this boils down to is , women have their rightful and respectful places in Islam. Some cannot even master those places before wanting to do what men are obligated to do. It does not make them less a person, just a person who wants what they cannot have, and goes to many links to prove that they can.

Hope this makes sense?

Why can't you pray while your on your period?

Women cannot pray because (1) it is an act dictated by Allah, (2)they are considered unable at this time. It is a time of stress, pain, headaches, irratability, weakness, fatigue and sickness. She does not have to pray, which is also for her own good,and she does not have to make up those missed prayers at a later date when she is finished with her cycle.

The only time she has to make it up is for example, if prayer comes in(12:20) and she starts her cycle after its in(12:25), then she has to make up that prayer after she finishes her cycle. Because the prayer was obligatory for her to make but she started bleeding aafter it came in. It is different if she started before the obligatory prayer came in, thus she would be exempt.

However, this is not found in the Qur'an per se. But it is found in the Hadith/Sunnah of the Prophet:

It is he who told his wives and the wives of the believers, therefore to all the Muslim women not to pray or fast during menstruation. The Prophet said: 'If a woman is in her period, then she can neither pray nor fast.'

ALSO:
Al-Bukhari and Muslim recorded that `A'ishah said: "When we would have our periods during the lifetime of the Prophet , we were ordered to make up for the days of fasting that we had missed but were not ordered to make up for the prayers we had missed."

If she is on her period during Ramadan, then she is only to make up the days of fasting that she missed.

Clear/Not clear?

In other areas of life, don't we operate more or less normally when we are on our periods? Why is it treated like a handicap when its not? Also, why are women unable to lead Salat when they are feeling fine, or not on their periods?



I know you don't feel this way, but to an outsider this sounds very sexist. It sounds as if Allah lacks confidence in women's ability to perform as well as men, and so he restricts them from holding any position of power. Is this an unfair assessment? If I'm being unfair or ignorant please let me know.

Noshadylady,

I'd like to debate this with you, but I think we are in the wrong forum. Would you be interested in discussing this in another thread?

Since we are setting things straight, I might as well ask a couple more questions so you can help me be better informed.

Do wives need to ask their husbands permission before they do certain things like travel out of town? If so, do husbands also need to ask permission to do these same things?

If a husband is not being a good muslim, can his wife use a miswaak on him like he can on her?

Is a woman considered promiscuous if she does not wear the hijab?

Sure....it can be opened as another thread! I'll open one called..."About the Muslim Woman in Islam"

First I will try to answer your ??????

*Most women have a lot of problems when it comes to the period. Along with those problems comes the symptoms. Some women can deal with then, others can't. Allah made it easy for women during these times to limit the hormonal changes, stress, to rest the body and allow it to re-build itself. Women find this as a few days of rest and revival and not as a handi-cap. Not all women see it this way.

Also, why are women unable to lead Salat when they are feeling fine, or not on their periods?

This was minimally answered in post 13.

*When Allah Ta'ala makes a thing easier for a woman, we take it. We do not quibble about it as He knows what of best for us better that we do. We as women know our roles in Islamic society and we as believers in Allah do not question what we can or cannot do. We learn the reasons why and leave it. Other people want to know all the reasons and unfairness in not being able to do things, personally I do not want to compete with the men. I have enough to learn and live as a muslim woman.

*Its not unfair, you just want to know and understand. Allah Ta'ala doesn't lack anything...ever. He created women, He knows their temperment, and nature far better than they know themselves. Yet there are many women who do hold much power in many areas. There are just certain areas that He chose men for, and I 100% agree with that. Most women do not.

*Yes wives need to ask their husbands permission to do certain things, not as a child would, but because of her safety and the people she will be dealing with. Also women when traveling need to have a Mahram(escort) with her if her husband cannot be with her. Again for her safety. Yet there are times when neither is available and the woman has to trust totally on Allah in her travels. Especially if she will be traveling for more than three days til destination.( Lots more on the subjest inanother thread)
Husbands do not need our permission but most do inform us of things, or let us know what is happening with them. When my husband travels(all over the world),
we discuss his plans, dates etc. He makes sure that I am well provided for(money, food, car, people to check on me, informs my doc, and family). Then he is off! I can't however speak for all women!

*When our husbands(Some) are not being a good muslim, our best way to treat him is with Qur'an and tact. We must remind him of his duties and responsibilities to Allah and their families. For a man to be a good husband he should first be a good Muslim.[Go to "how to do things.com" read the article on being a good husband]I found this piece very interesting! The treatment for this is left between the couple.[Lots more info].

*No the woman is not considered to be promiscuous,[unless that is her intentions], as we do not know the true reason why she is not wearing it. Remember Hijab is just not the covering of the hair...it is the total covering of the body...from head to toe.[Truly lots more info]

Sorry that everything has to be compact and short. But we will be able to expand a bit in the new thread and with references, Inshallah, okay?

Thanks, Noshadylady. I'll see ya over in the other forum.

Here is just a few of the rights of a wife. It is interesting! A lot of women still do not know these rights.

A Wife's Basic Rights Regarding Her Husband's Behavior
To Her
NOTE: This is distinct from her other rights regarding living expenditures, housing, clothing, and education of children. And from Allah comes all success.

1. The first and worthiest condition of marriage to be fulfilled by the husband is to "keep the promise or promises he made to the wife at the time he married her." This is an order of the Prophet [salla Allahu `alayhi wa alihi wa sallam, abbr. (s)] according to the hadith: "ahaqqu al-shuruti an tufu bihi ma astahlaltum bihi min al-furuj"

2. He cannot order her to do anything that is against religion. The Prophet (s) said: "No obedience is due to creatures in disobedience of the Creator" (la ta`atan li makhluqin fi ma`siyat al-khaliq).

3. He must exercise patience and be prepared to listen to her advice in every situation. The Prophet (s) listened to the advice of his wives in matters ranging from the smallest to the greatest.

4. If she invites him to wake up and perform the late night prayer, it is praiseworthy for him to do so and vice-versa. The Prophet (s) prayed for such people: "May Allah grant mercy to a man who gets up at night and prays, and wakes up his wife, and if she refuses, he sprinkles water in her face; may Allah grant mercy to a woman who gets up at night and prays, and wakes up her husband, and if he refuses, she sprinkles water in his face."

5. He must respect her and pay attention to her needs so that she will respect him and pay attention to his.

6. He must control his passions and act in a moderate manner especially in the context of sexual intercourse. Remember that Allah has placed between you and her "friendship and mercy" (mawadda wa rahma), not the gratification of your every lust; and that the Prophet (s) advised young men to marry "because it casts down the gaze and walls up the genitals," not in order to stimulate sexual passions. The husband should habitually seek refuge in Allah before approaching his wife and say: "O Allah, ward off the satan from us and ward him off from what you have bestowed upon us in the way of children" (allahumma jannibna al-shaytana wa jannibhu ma razaqtana). Allah has called each spouse a garment for the other (2:187), and the purpose of garments is decency. The Prophet (s) further said that he who marries for the sake of decency and modesty (`afaf), Allah has enjoined upon Himself to help him.

7. He must never ever divulge the secrets of the household and those of the married couple.

8. He must strive with sincerity to acquire her trust, and seek her welfare in all the actions that pertain to her.

9. He must treat her generously at all times. The Prophet (s) said that the best gift or charity (sadaqa) is that spent on one's wife.

10. If she works outside the house, it is praiseworthy for the husband to hire house help to relieve her from too heavy a burden. The wife's duties do not require her to feed her child, nor even to nurse it, nor to clean nor cook. It is the husband's duty to provide a nursemaid, food for older children, and servants to clean and cook. However, if the wife does those things out of mercy and love, it is a gift to the husband on her part. Many women choose to do this.

11. He must avoid excessive jealousy and remember that Allah is also jealous that he himself not commit. The Prophet (s) said: "Do not be excessively jealous of your wife lest evil be hurled at her on your account" (la tukthir al-gheerata `ala ahlika fa turama bi al-su'i min ajlik) and he said: "Allah is jealous and the believer is jealous; and Allah's jealousy is that the believer should not go to that which Allah has forbidden for him" (inna Allaha yagharu wa al- mu'minu yagharu wa gheerat Allahi in ya'tiya al-mu'minu ma harrama `alayhi).

12. He must protect her honor and not place her in situations where it is compromised or belittled. The Prophet (s) said that Allah will not ever let him enter Paradise who cares little who shares his wife's privacy. This includes the husband's brother, uncle, and nephew, let alone non-related friends, neighbors, and complete strangers.

13. He must exercise patience and forgiveness in the case of disagreement or dispute, and not rush to divorce. The declaration of divorce is a grave matter indeed, and the Prophet (s) said: "Of permitted matters the most loathesome before Allah is divorce" (abgh`ad al-halal `ind Allah al-talaq). In another hadith he said that divorce is so grave that because of it Allah's throne is made to shake. He said: "The best intercession [i.e. intervention of a third party] is that which brings back together the husband and the wife." Womanizing -- divorce for the purpose of marrying another woman out of sexual attraction incurs Allah's curse according to the hadith: "Allah's curse is on the womanizing, divorcing man" (la`ana Allahu kulla dhawwaaqin mutallaaq). Finally, even in the midst of and after divorce, Allah has prescribed kindness upon the man: "(After pronouncing divorce) she must be retained in honor or released in kindness" (2:228).

For the above-mentioned reason (i.e. to prevent the quickness of divorce), in his time, Ibn Taymiyya gave the ijtihad (juridical opinion) by saying that three talaqs in one sitting constituted only one. He did this to interdict the prevalent custom of suddenly giving three talaqs, which in his time was on everyone's lips, (i.e. had become so commonplace as to be a habit). However the other four schools of fiqh had the opposite opinion in this matter.

14. He must not dwell on what he dislikes in his wife, but on what he likes.

15. The husband is not to stay away from his wife or keep his wife in a state of suspense, whether at home or abroad, for a protracted period of time except with her consent. Allah said: "Turn not away (from your wife) altogether, so as to leave her hanging. If you come to a friendly understanding and practice self-restraint, then Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Merciful" (4:129). Protracted separation (6 months or more in the Shafi`i school) without prior or subsequent arrangement with the wife, whether the husband is away willingly or unwillingly (for example due to war, imprisonment, or illness) is sufficient grounds for her to obtain divorce from the judge.

16. The Prophet (s) said: "Do not beat your wife." He also said: "Do not strike your wife in the face." The expiation for striking one's slave in the face is to set him or her free on the spot, but what expiation is there for striking one's wife? The Prophet (s) condemned the man who beats his wife in the day and then approaches her at night. And to beat her to the extent of inflicting serious injury is enough grounds for her to obtain divorce from the judge.

17. Caring for one's wife's sexual fulfillment is an obligation of religion. The Prophet (s) warned against rushing to gratify one's pleasure and forgetting that of one's wife. He also disliked that the husband should quickly withdraw from his wife afterwards, as it is a strain upon the wife. If she asks for intercourse, he should not refuse.

can you please clarify what is said in number 11.

thanks

personally i want to hear more about 17

Sure, about what though?

The husband should not be overly jealous of his wife so much so that he accuses her of infidelity, adultery, flirting, etc. this may cause the wife to really go out and do something haram or say something that she can never take back. So the husband should never approach his wife with inuindos, false questioning, etc, especially if he does not have a valid reason or proof.




A man must take care of the needs of his wife. He should not be all to concerned with "getting his" and leaving her still wanting and needing to be satisfied. Some men however are "quick on the draw" and cannot help it. This is a good time to seek counceling and therapy.

If a wife is in need of being satisfied by her husband, then it is his duty to make sure that she has her fill. He cannot just leave her vulnerable and helpless knowing that she does not have other options that are halal for her. Even if he is tired, it is a sacrafice to Allah to fulfill the needs of his wife with love and compassion.

Hope this helps!!

WELL, IN ISLAM,,, ALLAH GIVE THE RIGHTS BOTH TO THE HUSBAND AND WIFE,, AND THEY ARE SAME,,, we should have to explore each thing regarding and implement them,,,,, because we well have a perfect marriage,, when we spend the time according to Islam..

nice, Both of the men and women do have same rights, and they should have to take care of them to make a great life,,,

Mashallah, great addition by NOSHADYLADY4... thanks a lot.. i have read out many many books defining and exploring the rights of men and women,,, so we should be careful all about it....

Islam give equal right for both, Muslim Men and Muslim women, and it have been clear in out Holy Book Quran,,, so by reading and understanding it, there would not be any ambiguity in any part of our lives..

Amazing. I am in awe of all the comments and of all the new things I have learnt while reading this. Many thanks: jazakallah (sorry if i spelt that wrong)

Assalamu alaikum (Peace be upon you)
GB Xx

Mashallah Brothers and sisters, that is great sharing of you people...in Islam it have been cleared all about muslim men and women, and their rights,, as one of my brother have shared over here,,, but its not only to share, we must have to follow them all, accordingly...

"but its not only to share, we must have to follow them all, accordingly... "

Wise words, it is often much easier to say something than it is a do something.

Assalamu alaikum (Peace be upon you)
GB Xx