NOSHADYLADY4
Jan 16 2010, 03:00 PM
Do you think a person should fall in love with another person before they marry? Or is it better to get to know the person a bit, marry, and then see how the love will grow?
Many cases have it that people fall in love, be dating, hanging out alone, etc., end up "in love" and want to get married. There is so much haste in getting marriage. The marriage may not work even if the people marry and the love grows. What would you consider the best route to take?
Marriage and love go hand in hand but often times never work out. Some people can live together for years and never love eachother, The attraction and respect is there but not the love, but they remain together anyway.
Any thoughts on the subject?
sxxx
Jan 17 2010, 11:42 AM
good question sis
it is tru how some people do not love eachother but the respect is there the physical love is there but not true feelings of LOVE i think that is really sad as your whole life is at stake and you never get to experiance TRUE love through out your life.
for me i wouldnt say LOVE first that would be unislamic and i wouldnt say marriage then love either.
itd have to be that i get to know him properly, there would have to be an attraction between me and
him, id have to be able to get on with the in-laws and both parties should be satisfied.
if after marriage months/years later the marriage wasnt working then i would just have to accept that it just wasnt meant to be and there no point living with eachother when your only hurting oneother.
but i definatly get to know the person a
ALOT, marry, and then see how the love will grow? iA allah knows best
Stripey
Jan 18 2010, 12:38 PM
eh eh.. forget the man it's the mother inlaw you have to get to know mate
rizwan
Jan 18 2010, 02:14 PM
QUOTE(Stripey @ Jan 18 2010, 06:38 PM)

eh eh.. forget the man it's the mother inlaw you have to get to know mate

hahaha...MO needs a like button!
sxxx
Jan 19 2010, 06:34 AM
QUOTE(Stripey @ Jan 18 2010, 06:38 PM)

eh eh.. forget the man it's the mother inlaw you have to get to know mate

LOL
true
Binty
Feb 18 2010, 04:43 AM
Lol Stripes.
I think love is the best foundation for marriage so it's fine if you fall in love and then marry. And then it depends on how you look at it... it doesn't always have to mean hanging out and going on dates before realizing you're in love. Love happens in different circumstances.
But I also think that real love is only after committing to that person, cuz it's something that can only grow to become stronger, or you grow out of it. That's why love occurs in stages, and it can't happen all at once.
sxxx
Feb 19 2010, 10:29 AM
QUOTE(bin't Zayd @ Feb 18 2010, 10:43 AM)

Lol Stripes.
I think love is the best foundation for marriage so it's fine if you fall in love and then marry. And then it depends on how you look at it... it doesn't always have to mean hanging out and going on dates before realizing you're in love. Love happens in different circumstances.
But I also think that real love is only after committing to that person, cuz it's something that can only grow to become stronger, or you grow out of it. That's why love occurs in stages, and it can't happen all at once.
couldnt have said it better myself
rizwan
Feb 20 2010, 02:43 AM
no one says things better than shazzzzy (sage of MO)®
Silly Billy
Feb 20 2010, 07:48 AM
Here here!^
Now that i agree with.
Miss JJ
Apr 1 2010, 11:48 AM
What does sage mean?
& what if you grow out of love? then what will happen...will the person leave you and what will happen if you get bored of them?

Like say a girl marries a guy then gets bored of him or falls out of love then shes like omg i don't love him anymore this marriage is pointless.
Binty
Aug 8 2010, 11:09 AM
QUOTE(Miss JJ @ Apr 1 2010, 06:48 PM)

What does sage mean?
& what if you grow out of love? then what will happen...will the person leave you and what will happen if you get bored of them? 
Then you sing:
"God help me but forgive my true intention
It hurts me but I've nowhere left to run
All this time still falling out of love
As we cut to the thrust
This could well be the year of decision
Do you know what I mean
Like a song spinning round in my head?
Now I am strong carry me home
You can take it or leave it"
(by Erasure)
Cider
Aug 8 2010, 11:18 AM
marriage is a dish best served cold or was that revenge?
tqa810
Mar 1 2011, 04:59 AM
i trust in love before marriage too. well i have someone which i like too but i know as he is being pious, he put a distnce in dis situation but did say he wan marry me. sometimes, if d love can inspiring u too work hard in life n prevent u from any sin, why not? to b honest, i never meet d person in real yet, just we contact via yahoo mesengger.. i also put distance, i don wan fall much coz it might hurt me much, so i said him i wil talk about marriage after graduation.. but i expected graduate in 2014.. its stil long time... well, if he really likes me, he should wait, if not i know he not deserve me.. just i trust Allah much in dis case, world is temporary, i wan live life that can help me in grave later n paradise, i trust Allah will give me d best man.. inshallah..
AsadullahHamza
Mar 1 2011, 07:07 AM
No soul has authority over another. Guidance and straying is a matter between God and you.
aakwrAllahwbHu
I too found love via YM. Allah Alone knows whether it will lead to marriage, but God bless Yahoo Messenger!
Alhamdu lillahi Rabbil aalameen.
la ilaaha illaa Allaahu Al-‘Atheemu Al-Haleemu, la ilaaha illaa Allaahu Rabbul ‘arshil-‘atheemi,
la ilaaha illaa Allaahu Rabbus-samaawaati wa Rabbul-ardhi wa Rabbul-‘arshil-kareemi
there is no god except Allah, the All-Mighty, the Forbearing; there is no god except Allah, the Lord of the Mighty Throne;
there is no god except Allah, Lord of the heavens, Lord of the earth and Lord of the noble Throne.
Killed Bill
Mar 1 2011, 10:20 AM
"Can there be love before marriage?"
No. Anyone who disagrees with me is wrong
Breeze
Mar 1 2011, 11:50 AM
Oh my days. I just want to delete my old posts. *facepalm*
Killed Bill you mean to say before marriage it is lust, not love?
So far, i agree with you.
AsadullahHamza
Mar 1 2011, 12:02 PM
No soul has authority over another. Guidance and straying is a matter between God and you.
aakwrAllahwbHu
:-))
To each his own.
Alhamdu lillahi Rabbil aalameen.
la ilaaha illaa Allaahu Al-‘Atheemu Al-Haleemu, la ilaaha illaa Allaahu Rabbul ‘arshil-‘atheemi,
la ilaaha illaa Allaahu Rabbus-samaawaati wa Rabbul-ardhi wa Rabbul-‘arshil-kareemi
there is no god except Allah, the All-Mighty, the Forbearing; there is no god except Allah, the Lord of the Mighty Throne;
there is no god except Allah, Lord of the heavens, Lord of the earth and Lord of the noble Throne.
Breeze
Mar 1 2011, 12:55 PM
^ May i add another quote...
"Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder," So what is considered to be beautiful for one, may not be for another.
AsadullahHamza
Mar 1 2011, 02:11 PM
No soul has authority over another. Guidance and straying is a matter between God and you.
aakwrAllahwbHu
To be honest I have never been able to completely wrap my head around that one. Sounds pretty cool, all the same.
My own conviction is that love may not always make its nest where there's beauty, but where there's love beauty shall ever abide.
Alhamdu lillahi Rabbil aalameen.
la ilaaha illaa Allaahu Al-‘Atheemu Al-Haleemu, la ilaaha illaa Allaahu Rabbul ‘arshil-‘atheemi,
la ilaaha illaa Allaahu Rabbus-samaawaati wa Rabbul-ardhi wa Rabbul-‘arshil-kareemi
there is no god except Allah, the All-Mighty, the Forbearing; there is no god except Allah, the Lord of the Mighty Throne;
there is no god except Allah, Lord of the heavens, Lord of the earth and Lord of the noble Throne.
Breeze
Mar 1 2011, 02:14 PM
QUOTE(AsadullahHamza @ Mar 1 2011, 02:11 PM)

To be honest I have never been able to completely wrap my head around that one. Sounds pretty cool, all the same.
My own conviction is that love may not always make its nest where there's beauty, but where there's love beauty shall ever abide.
Alhamdu lillahi Rabbil aalameen.
You mean to say, love is not based upon appearance and is unconditional?
AsadullahHamza
Mar 1 2011, 02:24 PM
No soul has authority over another. Guidance and straying is a matter between God and you.aakwrAllahwbHu
QUOTE
You mean to say, love is not based upon appearance and is unconditional?
Yes, my respected sister, unconditional as far as appearance goes. What is conditional is commerce.
Better still, to the one who loves the one who is loved is always beautiful. Beauty is in the eyes of the lover.
Alhamdu lillahi Rabbil aalameen.
la ilaaha illaa Allaahu Al-‘Atheemu Al-Haleemu, la ilaaha illaa Allaahu Rabbul ‘arshil-‘atheemi,
la ilaaha illaa Allaahu Rabbus-samaawaati wa Rabbul-ardhi wa Rabbul-‘arshil-kareemithere is no god except Allah, the All-Mighty, the Forbearing; there is no god except Allah, the Lord of the Mighty Throne;there is no god except Allah, Lord of the heavens, Lord of the earth and Lord of the noble Throne.
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