This personal story is the product of my own struggle with doubt about my own belief, when I was going through a very difficult time in my life. "Do I have my current belief, just because I blindly believe what I was taught to believe by others or because in the worst case scenario I am brainwashed by the whole religious system just like in former communist countries?" This thought had bothered me for a while. But I did not tell others about my struggle for fear that I would be considered as a man of no faith. I really wanted to find the answer myself and started to read the whole Bible without using any reference materials which often tend to obscure the original meanings by the authors' own opinions. Because all the teachings and doctrines originate from this scripture, it is the most ideal source which might answer my doubt although it is advised not to question its validity. Thus my journey of investigation started! I read the whole scripture with the mind that I might have been educated to believe what I was told by others or that I might have been brainwashed by the whole religious system. During my own investigation to find the truth, I met again my God, who is so gracious that He gave His one and only Son as a sacrifice with blood on the cross to save me, just like a loving mother jumps into the water to save her drowning child regardless of the fact that the child is obedient or disobedient to her. Her loving heart for the child is far from the petty conditional love of a fearful dictator (If you will obey me, then I will save and love you. Otherwise I will punish you and will not love you). This unconditional love is possible because she shed her own blood with great pain when delivering the child. In fact the love of a mother for her child is just a shadow of the love of God for all human beings through Jesus Christ on the cross.

About twenty years ago I came to the United States for a PhD in theoretical physics. I was an ambitious young student who wanted to make a major breakthrough discovery in physics, earning recognition and awards from physics community and general public. During this period I became a Christian. After finishing the PhD we went to Europe for two years of research and came to the current place about ten years ago. Because I wanted to continue scientific research in academia as a professor, I worked hard to build up more research experience to apply for a faculty position at universities. So far I had five interviews with various universities and five more in industry. In particular job competition in academia is so strong that typically more than one hundred people apply for one opening from all over the world. Since usually three candidates are invited for interview, having an interview in academia and industry alike was a very exciting experience with a lot of expectation. Because of this high expectation, however, the disappointment following after failure is also tremendous, and unfortunately it came to me as reality as many as ten times in a row. On one occasion the chairperson of the search committee talked to me privately that he would be most pleased if I come, but it did not happen. I simply could not accept the reality that I have got none of them! One failure after another has led me into deep disappointment and bitterness toward everything. Furthermore the majority of my friends have already reached their career goals. From the worldly point of view, many of them did not do better than me at school and their research was not better than mine after the PhD. Nothing happened the way I wanted it and the way they should have happened. I could not stand the reality any more.

Why must I struggle here for so many years for nothing? "God, are you really taking care of me? What is wrong with me? Are you angry with me? This world is surely not fair!" Out of desperation I came to the point where I screamed to God, "God, I acknowledge you saved me from eternal condemnation through faith in Jesus Christ, but I do not think you continue to care for me afterwards. It seems as if you were only interested in bringing me into your family, but leaving me behind helpless. God, now you are making a terrible mistake to me. You said in 1 Corinthians 10:13, 'No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.' God, it does not apply to me. This trial is certainly beyond what I can bear. I am already crushed. Instead of getting closer to you as a result of this trial, I am getting more sour to you and more distant from you. God, you are miscalculating about me. If you give me a job today at Harvard University, the best university in the world, I may accept it but I will never thank you because of that. The words, thanks and gratitude, have left me for good and now there are no such words in my dictionary. I assure you, God, that these words will never come out of my mouth again until I breathe my last breath!"

Then, to make things even worse, I started having a health problem not long ago. In the past ten months I had to have two surgeries for the first time in my life. Besides these operations, I had to go through various tests to check if the cancer in my stomach has spread to the other parts of the body. I thought people with this kind of disease were living on a different planet, but suddenly found myself stepping one of my feet onto that unknown world. Everything started falling apart in my life. My life seemed to be being finished. I reached the bottom of my life. I literally cried out to God. "God, what is this now? I am still young. I have a young family who totally depend on me. What do you want more from me? Are you determined to destroy me completely, both in and out?" To my surprise and shame I found years of my Christian belief rooted on sand, shaky and unstable ground. Although I went to the church every Sunday and read the Bible regularly, I did not really come close to God to know and meet him personally. At that time my belief was all about a religion trying to keep the rules, rituals and traditions out of duty or out of fear of punishment, not about a loving relationship with the Creator of my very own soul. I had to begin to research the bible to find out what trust really is, and most of all who God really is.

Exodus 14:13-14 is one of the passages I found very encouraging and instructing to help me get out of the pain of self-condemnation, self-pity and self-denial. In the midst of trial I was able to understand and experience what trust is. This passage eventually helped me replace my anger with thanks and my fear with trust, and restore my broken relationship with God. Here is the bible text in Exodus 14:13-14. This is what Moses told the people of Israel terrified in front of the Red sea while watching the mighty Egyptian army chasing after them behind. 'Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.' During the storm I met my personal God for the first time, not the kind of God I speculated in my imagination. Before God, I was able to see what was really at the bottom of my heart: Pride, arrogance, stubbornness, self-righteousness, superiority and other self-centered desires disguised as something decent. In fact I was trying to use God for my own self-actualization. God was my personal Genie. I simply fell on my knees and confessed to God, "You are my Creator and I am your mere creature. Without you I am only a dust floating around in the massive universe without meaning and purpose. Only with you I find the meaning and true identity of my existence." I am happy my "great" sin was completely forgiven, because on the cross Jesus Christ already paid the penalty on my behalf. Before God, my own problems that once looked very great became much smaller. They were eventually resolved not the way I wanted it originally, but the way that turned out to be the best later. Now all things seem to have returned to what they were before except two things: surgery scars and the heart. Yes, now I have a new heart! The heart of the matter is the matter of the heart.

I believe our God allowed all these trials to me for a purpose, for a reason. I do not think all the disappointment, frustration, bitterness and fear I have gone through were meaningless. As I look back now, I believe God allowed me to go through them in order for my faith to grow to the next level of maturity, which otherwise would not be possible. Job 23:10 says, 'But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold.' Romans 8:28 says, 'And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.' Now I thank God even for the cancer I struggled with recently. Because of the disease, I learned to love and trust my God more, learned to be more thankful for everything, learned to have more compassion for other people, learned to resist better the temptation of lust and selfishness. God's words have an amazing power that turned my anger, disappointment and fear into joy, thanks and freedom. I was transformed from a caterpillar into a butterfly that flies high into the world of freedom. Now I am 100% satisfied with and thankful for everything, absolutely everything. Thanks! Finally in the middle of the suffering I was able to taste this precious word that once was lost but now was found. Now I have a new heart of joy, thanks and freedom that are all about me. Now my spiritual walk with God is really the process of correcting my misunderstandings about him one at a time, developing a more intimate and loving relationship with the Creator of the universe and my very own soul.

I have reached the current spiritual stage as a result of doubt and suspicion on my belief. I strongly encourage you to do the same to find the real God. The infinite God cannot be defined by a few lines of any religious rules and traditions. In fact this is one of the greatest mistakes people make, namely, not seeing God as He really is but seeing God as a few lines of their religious rules and traditions are! The infinite God waits to be explored and known more by His creatures. The infinitely gracious God is not offended by the honest questions and doubt of His tiny creatures. He is not like a brutal dictator who is easily offended by different opinions, and who threatens people with fear of punishment, and who waits to punish people whenever they disobey him.

Hi Muslim readers

Some Muslim friends have made the following comment to me: I may enjoy immorality because I always talk about the love of God through Jesus Christ, instead of God's judgment and punishment? Here is my answer to them.

Do you think I have more than one wife? Do you think I have a concubine? Do you think I sexually abuse young children as young as 6 or 9 years old? Do you think I watch pornography secretly at night? Do you think I support abortion? Do you think I support same sex marriage? Do you think I take drugs secretly? Of course not! Not at all! When people deeply experience the breadth and depth of God's love that was most explicitly demonstrated through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ on the cross for all human beings, they naturally stay away from immorality. “While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). I am one of many living examples. This is the best and perhaps the most effective way to stay away from sin. Instead of struggling hard to avoid committing sins supplemented with the constant reminder of the threat of hell fire, you must deeply experience the love of God through the sacrificial death of Jesus Christ to forgive our sins. “This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins.” (Matthew 26:28).

The obvious result of struggling hard to avoid committing sins supplemented with the constant reminder of the threat of hell fire, is mental problem called obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). People with OCD are plagued by the urgent need to engage in certain rituals that are usually repetitive. As they perform these rituals, they may feel temporarily better, but there is no long-lasting sense of satisfaction or completion after the act is performed. Often, they with OCD believe that if the ritual isn't performed, something dreadful will happen. But the greatest difficulty is that they refuse to admit their problem, instead they call it “pious”.

19 Yet she became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a prostitute in Egypt. 20 There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses. 21 So you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when in Egypt your bosom was caressed and your young breasts fondled. Ezekiel 23:19

truth-finder...

I am a little shocked and I'd like your help. So you have a post doc in physics and you actually believe everything in the bible literally? I really want your take on Christianity and religion in general. What was your major area of study in physics just out of curiosity?



I don't mean to nitpick here but I don't see what you are getting at... OCD has nothing to do with religion... are you comparing religious rituals in general to the symptoms of OCD as some metaphor to discredit Islam? I hate to break it to you but you could do the same thing with Christianity and every other religion on the planet. Praying to god in general could be compared to an OCD ritual in the same manner...

Hi Nazia1987

Thanks for your reply, Nazia1987. I am not saying that Muslims who pray 5 times a day suffer from OCD. I believe Muslims seek God as sincerely as Christians. There is nothing wrong with that. Please do not misunderstand. But when any believer (either Christians, Jews or Muslims) feels guilty or even afraid because they miss daily prayers or fasts or cannot go to a certain place as a pilgrimage or other rituals, surely they have strong symptoms for OCD. No question about it! OCD covers many areas and of course I talk about it in the religious perspective. The following is the typical symptoms of OCD. People with OCD are plagued by the urgent need to engage in certain rituals which are usually repetitive. As they perform these rituals, they may feel temporarily better, but there is no long-lasting sense of satisfaction or completion after the act is performed. Often, they with OCD believe that if the ritual isn't performed, something dreadful will happen. The greatest difficulty is that they refuse to admit their problem, but instead call it “pious”. Anybody who shows the above symptoms (feeling guilty or afraid when they miss religious rituals) is very likely to suffer from OCD. It could include Muslims, Orthodox Jews, some “religious” Christians. Do you see my point, Nazia1987?

Sister, the evangelical Christians will try in all ways to discredit Islam. They will never be satisfied until we convert to their way. We should be in dialogue with the Christians, but the ones who have a good record of respecting our faith. Such as the Roman Catholic Church, the Anglican Church, Episcopalians, Methodists, etc. The evangelicals are theologically descended from that of the medieval crusader.

Hi RLewis

Thanks for your reply. Most Christians including evangelicals are ashamed of what medieval Crusaders had done to humanity. Here is one of my past writings regarding this issue.

I do admit that during the dark age of our belief (when our belief was institutionalized long time ago) our spiritual ancestors did cruel things to humanity in the name of God through the Crusades, the Inquisition and some other means. They were in stark contrast to the unconditional sacrificial love of Jesus on the cross for all human beings. Many innocent people including Jews and Muslims were persecuted and killed during this dark age. On behalf of our spiritual forefathers I sincerely apologize to all humanity. Surely they were our shame and disgrace of the past. In order to avoid admitting our terrible mistakes and escape criticism from other people, I am tempted to argue that those people involved in the atrocities were not real Christians and they were Christians only by name. Maybe this is true. But whether they were Christians by name or by heart, they carried the name of Jesus Christ and thus disgraced His name. More importantly the most precious things in the universe, human lives, were lost. That is why I feel compelled to ask for forgiveness, as a fellow believer in Christ, to those who were hurt. When I reflected on the shameful side of our belief in the past, I realized that the root cause of the problem was nationalization or institutionalization of (any) belief!

When any belief is institutionalized, everybody in the society is required or forced to believe it from birth against their will. If any question or doubt is raised openly which is against the belief or its tradition, people are persecuted just for their different views. Because honest question or doubt is considered as dishonoring God, society, and family, cruel punishments such as stoning, honor killing and beheading are justified and exercised. Without knowing that God regards human lives the most precious things in the universe, religious and political leaders persecute their own people with the wrong perception that this cruel act purifies the society from evil and thus honors God. In fact these things are much more evil than immorality. It is very much like former communist countries such as North Korea with the only difference that the ideology of communism is replaced by the zeal of religion.

This is what I mean by the danger of nationalization or institutionalization of any belief. I am glad we do not live anymore in this shameful dark age of the past caused by the nationalization of belief. Belief should be a personal matter. It is a personal relationship between an individual and God. People should not be discriminated or persecuted just because they do not believe the same God or have a different belief or leave their belief. Only the Creator himself is above human lives because He created them. No religion, no religious or political rule, no religious or political tradition, and absolutely nothing are above the precious human lives.

I admire your passion and acknowledgment of past wrongs. I was once a Christian (Unitarian) and I have read the Bible. And from what I read there is no such thing as Original Sin, no such thing as a redeeming death, no such thing as the Messiah dying for sins.

Gospel of Mark 65-73 AD
Gospel of Matthew 70-100 AD
Gospel of Luke 80-100 AD
Gospel of John 90-110 AD

The only thing remotely similar to these doctrines were written in John in the above years. A man who could never have known Jesus and possibly never have known someone who did know Jesus. John incorporates Neoplatonic philosophy (Logos) and Greco-Roman pagan concepts to gain wider audiences among Gentiles. In Mark and Matthew, Jesus seems to have hatred for the Gentiles (as in the case with the Syro-Phoenician woman) and always said "I am not sent BUT unto the lost sheep of the House of Israel" meaning the Jews. He refers to God as "my God and your God" "my Father and your Father". He never once claims to be God, nor does he demand anyone worship him. The first followers of Jesus were called Nazoraeans. The Gospel of the Nazoraeans may have been the very first gospel and one fragment that remains of it is:

"Jesus was teaching his disciples in the outer court of the Temple and one of them said unto him: 'Master, it is said by the priests that without shedding of blood there is no remission. Can then the blood offering of the law take away sin?' And Jesus answered: 'No blood offering, of beast or bird, or man, can take away sin, for how can the conscience be purged from sin by the shedding of innocent blood? Nay, it will increase the condemnation.'"

I do see your point but I still think what you are saying is not correct. OCD stems from irrationality. Like saying, if I don't touch the doorknob three times I will die. That is irrational. If you were an athiest I could handle you saying religion is irrational, because to somebody who choses no religion it may very well seem that way to them. But you are a Christian. Your faith is just as irrational as any other faith out there. To a Muslim, if we don't pray five times a day, or fast, or visit Mecca, etc... then there are consequences to pay. This is part of the religion.

Would you feel bad if you shot heroine? Or slept with a man? Or cursed the name of Jesus Christ? Ok, why? Who is to say this fear and guilt is not irrational? I'm sure if you did these things and felt bad you would pray and ask God for forgiveness. A Muslim does the same thing! There is no Muslim out there who says "oh I missed a prayer, Allah will strike me down with lightening and I will go to hell!" No if we do something wrong (like miss prayers) then we know Allah is all forgiving.



I fully agree with you here.

Hi RLewis

Thanks for your interesting reply. I hope to answer your comment in the very near future. I am not sure if you were really a believer in Christ or not in the past. I have met many people who claim they are Christians although they are not. In fact they are just church goers. Here is the definition of a Christian. A Christian is someone who has received Jesus Christ as the Savior and Lord in the heart to restore a broken loving relation with God. It does not matter if he/she was born to Christian parents, or he/she was baptized when young, or he/she goes to church on every Sunday, or he/she is a priest or pastor or even a Pope. The heart of the matter is the matter of the heart.



Hi Nazia1987

Thanks for your reply. I have meet and talked to quite a number of Muslims. But what they are saying is quite different from what you say. In contrast to your argument, Muslims are guilty and even afraid when they miss and cannot perform certain rituals. Please ask your Muslim friends honestly how they would feel. Here is the fundamental difference between you and me, or Muslims and Christians in general. Here Christians do not mean church goers. To you prayer is your duty. If you miss or cannot perform it, you are guilt and afraid of the punishment. But to me it is my joy, not my duty. If I miss it, there is no problem. I am still joyful because of God’s everlasting unconditional love for me that was shown most explicitly through the sacrificial love of Jesus Christ on the cross. My God is very gracious and patient that He is not angry or offended by missing of my prayer from time to time. Even if I forget my prayer for the whole month, my God is still not angry or offended, but instead grieved and starts to miss me. Now do you see the fundamental difference between you and me? Jesus says to you and other Muslim brothers who are weary and burdened with all kinds of religious duties and rituals, "Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28). "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free" (John 8:32).

no you completely missed what I was trying to say in my post so I will rephrase it. A Muslim will feel guilt if they don't pray because it is an issue of morality. For us it is morally wrong to not pray, whereas there is no such thing in Christianity. Let me give an example. For some reason there is this issue among Christians that you can not deny Jesus even in the face of death. So if somebody threatens you with death and asks you if you are a Christian you must say yes. It's not as though you will go to hell if you say no because God is forgiving, but I'm sure the person would feel an incredible guilt if they did not do this. However in Islam we are told that we should deny God if it means death because otherwise it is like commiting suicide and suicide is wrong! See we all have different sets of morals.

I gave you this example of being homosexual. You are a man, what if you were attracted to men. You would feel bad probably every time you say a man and felt attracted to them because Christianity tells you this is wrong. Why? because it's a moral issue to you. Similarly prayer is a moral issue to us so yes we will feel guilty if we miss it.

I don't see how the fact that prayer is a moral issue to Muslims is something that discredits us. I literally hear this argument all the time "oh but I don't HAVE to pray". Ok, great! And, so.... ?

Hi Nazia1987

Thanks for your comment. No, I do not misunderstand you, Nazia1987. Missing a few prayers to God has nothing to do with morality. But committing suicide is a moral issue. Being tempted to homosexuals is also a moral issue. Trying to become God just like Adam and Eve did in the Garden of Eden is morally wrong. But missing a few prayers is not morally wrong. Simply you are a prisoner of religious rituals and traditions. I have NO guilt when I cannot go to church on Sunday due to some reasons. But I feel guilty when I hurt other people emotionally and physically. I have NO guilt when I miss my daily prayer. But I feel guilty when I am tempted to watch pornography secretly at night.

Because God lives in my heart all the time through the sacrificial death of Jesus on the cross, I am always in the presence of God. In the warmth of His embrace, a prayer and praise of joy and thanks overflow from my heart “NATURALLY”. If I miss daily prayer, there is no problem. I am still joyful because of God's everlasting unconditional love for me that was shown most explicitly through the sacrificial love of Jesus Christ on the cross. My God is very gracious and patient that He is not angry or offended by missing of my prayer from time to time. Even if I forget my prayer for the whole month, my God is still not angry or offended, but instead grieved and starts to miss me. I will also start to miss God, my Lover.

In YOUR view and opinion. That's the thing about morality, it is different for different people.



Truth-finder, in complete honesty, you sound incredibly closed minded. Because somebody has a different set of moral values than you, it must be wrong? Who are you to say everything that is moral and what is not? Are you god to know such things? There are plenty of people who think Christians are prisoners to their religion because of views on homosexuality. One of my closest friends is gay and good man and finds it natural and can't imagine how somebody could consider it a moral issue because he loves his partner dearly and isn't hurting anybody.




Truth-finder, people are DIFFERENT. People look at LOVE differently. Maybe that's hard for you to understand? OK. since god is superior to us, let's look at parent-child relationships and examine Amereican parents vs. Indian parents. (I'm not trying to generalize, clearly there are exceptions but we all know this is majority true!) American parents generally don't discipline their kids much (especially not physically!), just let them flourish into whoever they want to be because they love and trust them. Ok, Indian parents can be hard as HELL on their kids, demand the upmost respect from their kids throughout their lives, demand perfect performance in school, society, etc. Ask an American and they will probably think "those Indian parents who treat their kids like that just don't love them, where is the love?" ask the Indian parents and they will think "those American parents obviously don't give a crap about their kids, look at how they raise them!" and guess what, BOTH sides love their children! I always felt, the way Protestant Christians view god goes into this American parents analogy... the way Muslims/Catholics/Jews view god goes more into the Asian parents analogy...

you must understand, we have all heard this argument a million times over, I heard it a million times over as a Jew because Jews also must pray, keep rituals, etc., fear god and respect god.... but you just must understand your way is not the only way to have love. Can you not accept that? Because if you can't I dunno I just really feel like you are closed minded. I'm glad you have religion and god and Christianity because that obviously fullfills you! But please don't think that because Muslims pray or fast, that we are locked into these rituals. this is OUR way of showing love to god! Perhaps you DON'T do it that way, but can you not respect that other people might?



ok no offense but it's kind of weird that you called god your lover. just an observation.

The Evangelicals are a cult that have so anthropomorphized their view of God, that's what it has come down to. When you listen to their view of God, you can see why there are so many Atheists in former Christian countries.

Hi Rlewis

I disagree with you. One of the most important symptoms of a cult is that people can get in easily but they are not allowed to get out. People are free to enter, but they have to give their head when they want to leave. That is called apostasy. Apostasy is the state of having rejected one's religious belief or one's political party. Please google it to find out what kind of consequence is waiting for apostasy in certain religions or groups. I was born and grew up in the third world. My home country is a secular nation and Christianity is not even the major religion. Nobody in my family was a believer in any religion. I became a believer in Christ in my late twenties. I am not a blind believer from birth. If I decide to leave my faith now, nobody hurts and threatens me. I am a free man all the time, while you seem to be enslaved by your religious duties, rituals and traditions. I am a slave only to the love of God!

You deserve much better than who you are now. You were born for much better than who you are now. You were created to be loved by God, not to perform religious duties and rituals. Let us not miss our full potential as true human being whose heart overflows with joy, thanks and freedom in a loving relationship with Jesus Christ.

Hi Nazia1987



My answer: What makes sinful and immoral is anything that displeases God. Certainly homosexual is sinful and immoral because it displeases God, although two individuals involved do not hurt other people. We reject the sin, but not the people. Our real enemy is Satan and sin, not the people. No matter what their behaviors are, they are still our fellow human beings.





My answer: It is an interesting comment. I appreciate it greatly, Nazia1987. I have had several Muslim friends from Iran, India and Morocco. After a number of conversations with them, I have found their common spiritual journey. I shared this story with other Muslims without any objection. If I am wrong, please correct me. Their spiritual journey is as if they were crossing a huge canyon through a narrow bridge made of ropes. They are afraid that they might fall off the shaky bridge to the bottom of the canyon by disobeying one of the religious duties they were supposed to follow at all times. They are not sure if they would meet their Creator face to face in heaven by successfully crossing the seemingly endless bridge. They appear weary and burdened with keeping all the religious duties and requirements at every moment. They are guilty of breaking one of them and afraid of Allah's punishment for their failure. They are uncertain about their eternity in heaven in spite of their hard efforts.

Here was my short answer to them that I also want to share with you. Are you sure or uncertain that God loves us? I believe you are 100% sure He loves us. Are you sure or uncertain that God wants to bring all of us to heaven by crossing the canyon successfully? I believe you are also 100 % sure He wants to bring all of us to His place, heaven. Then, why does God not provide us the sure way to eternal life, because He created us as the focus of His love? Then, why does God make the way to heaven so difficult for His own children that even one of you is not sure of spending eternity with their own Creator? God wants to meet us much more than we want to meet Him, just as parents want to meet their children much more than children want to meet their parents.

The wonderful news is that the eternal life is a gift from God. "The gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 6:23). This wonderful gift of eternal life is obtained by faith, not by hard works. "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast" (Ephesians 2:8-9). In fact the most precious things in life such as air that we breathe, Sun light that we receive, and our very life are all gifts from God or parents, for which we do not even pay a penny. We receive this wonderful gift of eternal life by accepting Jesus Christ as our Saviour and Lord, and thus becoming the children of God. This is the key word. Yes, becoming the children of God again!

When my children were small, I remember the deep satisfaction of watching them sleep. Sometimes the day had been filled with problems and disobedience, but asleep they looked contended, secure, and peaceful, and I was reminded of how much I love them. They do not have to do anything for me to love and enjoy them. I am happy to just watch them breathing, because they are my own children. This is how God loves His children. When they are sleeping, God gazes at them with love because they were His idea. He loves them as if they were the only person on earth. You may have had unpleasable parents or leaders as you were growing up. Please do not assume God feels that way about you or God were like them! He knows you are incapable of being perfect and sinless. God loves us just as we are, because we are His own children

Hi Muslim readers

Where is the holiest place in the world? When asked this question, we tend to think about pilgrimages in some religions. Each year millions of people flock to the so-called holiest places in their religions such as Mecca for Muslims and Varanasi for Hindus. Where is truly the holiest place on earth? The sure answer is the place where God lives. Where does God live? The place where there is no sin or sin is completely cleared. Because all human beings have committed sin and thus are sinful, the holiest place is where our sin and rebellion against God are completely washed away and thus cleared forever. There is only one such place in the world. Our heart where Jesus Christ has been received as the Savior and Lord! When we accept Jesus as our Savior and Lord, the divine Holy Spirit comes into our heart to live with us. While you may be desperate to go to pilgrimage once in your lifetime or once a year if you are rich enough, I go to pilgrimage every morning. Everyday with heavenly joy, heavenly thanks and heavenly freedom I enjoy a wonderful festival with God who lives right in my heart. The heart of the matter is the matter of the heart!

Sadly for many centuries people have been mistaken that certain places such as Mecca for Muslims, Varanasi for Hindus and Jerusalem for Christians, or certain buildings such as mosques for Muslims, temples for Hindus and churches for Christians are the holiest places in the world. Accordingly they have occupied those places by risking and killing numerous precious human lives. In fact these lives could have been the holiest places with Jesus Christ in their heart! With the wrong perception that certain earthly places are the holiest and thus must be secured at all costs, religious leaders have destroyed the (potentially) holiest places on earth, our heart! In this regard Christians made some shameful mistakes many hundred years ago. This is why I have kept saying that human lives are the most precious in the whole universe after the Creator, because He created them. No religions, no religious laws, no religious traditions and absolutely nothing are more important than the precious human lives. Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit lives in you? If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him; for God's temple is sacred, and you are that temple. (1 Corinthians 3:16-17)

Where is the holiest place in the world that we must pay the most attention to? That is our heart where the divine Holy Spirit lives through receiving Jesus Christ as the Savior and Lord! Going to pilgrimage for certain earthly places and buildings is absolutely nothing, and waste of time and effort if your heart is not circumcised with Jesus Christ. However, the Most High does not live in houses made by men. (Acts 7:48) I wish you would enjoy the real and true pilgrimage everyday just like me with Jesus in your heart. Then you are sure to experience heavenly joy, heavenly thanks and heavenly freedom every morning. For we are the temple of the living God (2 Corinthians 6:16)

You deserve much better than who you are now. You were born for much better than who you are now. You were created to be loved by God, not to perform religious duties, rituals and traditions. Let us not miss our full potential as true human beings whose heart overflows with joy, thanks and freedom in a loving relationship with Jesus Christ.

Hi readers

Recently I have read about many rituals practiced in several religions including Islam. I am not against all rituals. But if your heart is not circumcised, all your rituals are only a mechanical movement. What is circumcision of the heart? First of all what is circumcision? Circumcision is removing the foreskin of a penis. The foreskin is an obstacle that blocks the seed of a sperm from reaching an egg. Thus removing the foreskin allows the seed to flow freely to the egg, producing a new life. If the egg does not meet the seed, it dies and gets out of the body as dead blood. The spiritual meaning of circumcision is that our heart needs to be open to the seed of the Word (Jesus Christ) so that it reaches the egg of our soul in our heart, producing a new creation. If our soul does not meet the Word, it is separated from God and dies eternally. "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come" (2 Corinthians 5:17) This is called the circumcision of the heart, which is the spiritual meaning of circumcision. Interestingly though, the concept of being circumcised in the heart is not a new idea. In fact it has been an important consideration under the Old Covenant since the book of Deuteronomy. "Circumcise your hearts, therefore, and do not be stiff-necked any longer." (Deuteronomy 10:16) "The LORD your God will circumcise your hearts and the hearts of your descendants, so that you may love him with all your heart and with all your soul, and live." (Deuteronomy 30:6) Without circumcision of the heart, the circumcision of flesh (real body) is nothing and meaningless. Without circumcision of the heart, all your rituals are only a mechanical movement like a machine. I also say the same thing to other Christians to tell them what is really important. I hope your heart would be circumcised by receiving Jesus Christ as your Savior and Lord.

Hi readers

Have you ever read Exodus in the Old Testament? Exodus describes how God saved His people (Israelites) from slavery in Egypt through Moses. Pharaoh, King of Egypt, repeatedly refused to let the people of Israel go, although he and Egyptians suffered many plagues from God. The tenth and final plague of Egypt (Exodus 11:1–12:36) was the death of all first born (both Egyptian and Israelites) — no one escaped, from the lowest servant to Pharaoh's own first-born son, including first-born of livestock. God instructed Moses to tell his people to make sure every household had a lamb or goat, a one-year-old male without any defects. On the given day, they were to slaughter and put its blood on their doorposts. The angel of death would see the blood when he came to kill the firstborn and would “pass over” when he saw the blood. Only those whose doorposts were covered with the blood were spared from death. "On that same night I will pass through Egypt and strike down every firstborn—both men and animals—and I will bring judgment on all the gods of Egypt. I am the LORD. The blood will be a sign for you on the houses where you are; and when I see the blood, I will pass over you. No destructive plague will touch you when I strike Egypt. (Exodus 12:12-13) This was the hardest blow upon Egypt and the plague that finally convinced Pharaoh to submit, and let the Israelites go.

Do you know the spiritual meaning of the Passover? On the Day of Judgment, God would judge people according to what they have done to God and other people in their action and thought. First of all, as mere creatures we have caused the greatest humiliation to the Creator, “God, we do not need you. We ask you to leave our lives now and never return!” The consequence of our sins and rebellion against God was very serious, “Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished” (Exodus 34:7). “For the wages of sin is death” (Romans 6:23). The just and righteous God never cancels his own words. Thus we were destined to the eternal separation from God, which is nothing but eternal death. Nobody was exception to this destiny. We were completely hopeless and helpless, but God did not give up on us. Instead of pouring his wrath and curse of punishment on his children because of our sins, God chose to pour them on Jesus to spare us from the punishment. “This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins.” (Matthew 26:28) Christ in our place paid the penalty for our sins, providing us the way to eternal life that is reserved only for those whose sin is forgiven and thus cleared forever. On the Day of Judgment, God would “pass over” only the people when he sees the blood of Jesus on their heart. This is the spiritual meaning of the Passover.

Hi readers

Recently some Muslims asked me this question, “Why do we need an intermediator between God and us?” It is indeed a very interesting and important question. Part of the reason for asking this question comes from the fact that people often forget how perfect and holy God is and how sinful and immoral we are. Have you ever read the book of Exodus, part of Torah? And the LORD said to Moses, "I will do the very thing you have asked, because I am pleased with you and I know you by name." Then Moses said, "Now show me your glory." And the LORD said, "I will cause all my goodness to pass in front of you, and I will proclaim my name, the LORD, in your presence. I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion. But," he said, "you cannot see my face, for no one may see me and live." Then the LORD said, "There is a place near me where you may stand on a rock When my glory passes by, I will put you in a cleft in the rock and cover you with my hand until I have passed by. Then I will remove my hand and you will see my back; but my face must not be seen." (Exodus 33:17-23)

This is a very interesting description where God revealed Himself to Moses. No matter how great man Moses was, he could not stand with God because he was still a sinful man. Before the almighty God it does not matter whether there are more good works than bad in our life. Any slightest blemish would destroy us before God as you read the above story. Unless the problem of sin is dealt with completely, we could never go before God, thus eternally separated from God. It does not matter how many good works you perform to compensate your past mistakes and sins. This infinite gap between the perfect God and the sinful human beings must be filled by an intermediator, Jesus Christ. If you still believe you do not need the intermediator between God and you, it comes from your ignorance about the infinitely perfect and holy nature of God, and about the sinful and immoral nature of human beings. If you dare to approach God directly, actually you are inviting disaster on yourself. You would be immediately consumed to nothing by the glory of God because there are still some sins in you. This is why Jesus said, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me” (John 14:6).

Hi readers

Christian faith is based on the grace of God. Grace is the free and unmerited favor of God. Although it is called free, a better word is priceless. In fact the most precious things in life such as air that we breathe, Sun light that we receive, and our very life are all free gifts from God or parents, for which we do not even pay a penny. Is this because these things are so cheep? No. Actually they are more precious than diamond and gold, and more precisely speaking they are priceless. Our salvation to eternal life is the best example.

Some people may ask, “Then, what is the point for good deeds? We do not need to do them.” The reality is the opposite. We have received the wonderful gift of eternal life through Jesus without paying the price by ourselves. Because of this undeserved grace from God, we offer our heartfelt thanks to God and express our love for God through our love for other human beings such as social outcasts. Mother Teresa is one of good examples. Here is a fundamental difference between Christian faith and the other religions of the world. The believers of these religions try to do good deeds either as a religious requirement or to outweigh their past mistakes and sins in the balance of judgment, while we do it out of thanks and joy for the grace we have already received from God.

Hi readers

These days I often hear about garments Muslim women wear or have to wear. These include Hijab, Niqab, Burqa and so on. Women are free to wear their garment as expression of their belief. I have no problem with that. I have no objection to Hijab. But to be honest with you, women in Niqab and Burqa look like walking coffins or corpses to me and others. It seems that they cover their body completely not to be seen to other people, in particular, to men. To most men in the non-Muslim world, seeing women in decent clothing does not arouse lust or sexual desire, unless women are in lingerie or bikini. I do not understand why Muslim males are sexually aroused so easily simply by watching the face, torso or even hands of women. If priests or nuns cover their whole body with a little net over their eyes just like Niqab and Burqa, I would ask for their banning even in non-Muslim nations.

Hi readers

Recently I learned about devastating flood in Pakistan. While praying during the weekend, the Holy Spirit in my heart urged me to help Pakistan people as our fellow human beings and I did it. I wish this small donation ($xxx) would be at least some help to those who have lost their loved ones and homes. Because some readers may not know who the Holy Spirit is, I explain about him here briefly.

The Holy Spirit is one distinct way of God’s revelations to God’s people. In the Old Testament time the Holy Spirit was given to a few special people such as Moses, Elijah, Elisha. In the new era of grace initiated by Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit can come to anybody whose sin was washed away by the blood of Jesus. When the Holy Spirit comes to live in our heart, we would be the holiest place in the world because God lives right here in us. Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit lives in you? If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him; for God's temple is sacred, and you are that temple. (1 Corinthians 3:16-17) Then we are sure to experience heavenly joy, heavenly thanks and heavenly freedom every day. For we are the temple of the living God (2 Corinthians 6:16)

Hi readers

Yesterday night I watched a news program talking about the recent flood in Pakistan. The leader of one of the large Islamic organizations complained that the world does not respond to the disaster as fast as they did for Haiti earthquake and Asian tsunami. Having said this and that, he implied that the world helps Pakistan slowly because Pakistan is an Islamic country. The same reporter also interviewed the present of one of the leading relief organizations. The present said that generally he would agree with the slow response of the world, but he did not believe that this slow response was due to the state religion of Pakistan, but due to the large difference in the scale of disaster. While more than 200,000 people were killed in both Haiti earthquake and Asian tsunami, about 1,600 people died in Pakistan flood. He concluded that in spite of its much smaller scale of disaster, we still need to help Pakistan people more.

truth-finder, do you have a job? I'm not trying to be mean I'm just really curious.

Hi Nazia1987

Yes, I have a full time job in industry. May I ask why you ask this question?

Recently I read an article about making a pilgrimage of Buddhists by means of prostrations. For those who may not be familiar with this Buddhist practice, let me explain briefly what it's about. In Tibet, a pilgrimage to a sacred site, or a circumambulation around one, is undertaken by Buddhists because they believe that such acts have great merit to compensate their past mistakes and sins, and to become better Buddhists. The journey may take fifteen minutes, if it is a circumambulation around a local shrine. Or it may take years, if it is an overland journey to a sacred site. The difficulty of the journey--and thus the amount of merit generated by it--varies according to the means: air, bus, bicycle, horseback, or foot. The most difficult--and thus most meritorious--way to travel is by means of prostrations. In each prostration, the traveler stretches at full length upon the road, touching the furthest place they can reach with their fingertips, chanting some prayer as they do so. Then they stand up and walk to that place, and begin another prostration. The result is that the traveler's body touches every millimeter of the sacred road along the sacred journey. Actually some religious monks undertake more than 1000 km journey through prostration in order to compensate their past mistakes and sins, and to become better Buddhists.

As I read it, I was saddened by their torturing the body to be accepted to God. It reminded me again that we were created to be loved by God, not to show Him our submission and loyalty through an unnecessary hard discipline. Certainly loving parents would not demand their children such harsh disciplines to show them their submission and loyalty to them. When my children were small, I remember the deep satisfaction of watching them sleep. Sometimes the day had been filled with problems and disobedience, but asleep they looked contended, secure, and peaceful, and I was reminded of how much I love them. They do not have to do anything for me to love and enjoy them. I am happy to just watch them breathing, because they are my own children. This is how God loves His children. When they are sleeping, God gazes at them with love because they were His idea. He loves them as if they were the only person on earth. You may have had unpleasable parents or leaders as you were growing up. Please do not assume God feels that way about you or God were like them! He knows you are incapable of being perfect and sinless. God loves us just as we are, because we are His own children.

We were created to be loved by God, not to perform religious duties and rituals to take away God’s anger against us. God is not angry with you. He loves you with all His soul, with all His heart, with all His mind and with all His strength. Because "God is love" (1 John 4:16).

Hi readers

As I read many posts and articles, I have observed much difference in the perspectives of Muslims and non-Muslims on several issues, in particular, the status of women in Islam. While non-Muslims argue women are discriminated in Islamic societies, Muslims argue they are equally or even better treated. Quite likely one of the groups is mistaken. Here I invoke a relevant example from former communist countries to understand the difference. But this does not mean communism is the same as Islam. During seventies, some Soviet diplomats in Paris asked the Kremlin to allow them to return to Moscow. Their reason was that they could not live any more in Paris because there was no freedom and no democracy! I can imagine two possibilities. First, they knew there was plenty of freedom in Paris compared with Moscow. But as part of advertisement to the world that communism is the best ideology in the world, they pretended that there was no freedom in Paris. Second, they really believed that there was plenty of freedom in Moscow but not in Paris, because their definition of freedom is totally different from the rest of the world. Through years of controlled education in school and home their perspective was changed completely. I am not sure if the first case or the second one or another explains much difference between Muslims and non-Muslims on many issues. Just feel free to share your answers with other readers.

Hi readers

Recently I have had stimulating discussions with other people about immorality in the society and how to deal with it. Please enjoy reading it. You are very welcome to share your comment with me and other readers.

We Christians are also as serious as you are about immorality in the society. Here Christians mean those who have received Jesus as the Savior and Lord, not just church goers. As we look back to the human history, we are reminded of two nationalized systems that have been introduced to deal with immorality and injustice in the society, but have failed badly. Nationalization of religion and nationalization of economy (communism).

If any nation is nationalized with religion or economy, I guarantee it would eventually return to the Dark Age. We have learned a painful lesson from the history. Everybody is required or forced to accept the belief or ideology from birth against their will. If any question or doubt is raised openly which is against the belief or ideology, people are persecuted just for their different views. Because honest question or doubt is considered as dishonoring their system, cruel punishments such as public execution and beating are justified and exercised. Every cruel deed is justified simply because it is done for the glory of their God or ideology. Without knowing that human beings are the most precious in the world, religious or political leaders persecute innocent people with the wrong perception that their cruel act purifies the society from evil. In fact these things are much more evil than immorality.

The best solution is to go back to the love of God. I do not watch pornography secretly at night, nor take drugs secretly, nor support abortion and same sex marriage, nor sexually abuse young children, not have more than one wife or concubine. Do I stay immoral because of the threat of hell fire from God? Of course not! When people deeply experience the breadth and depth of God's love that was most explicitly demonstrated through the sacrificial death of Jesus Christ for us on the cross, they naturally and gladly stay away from immorality. “While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). I am one of many living examples. This is the best and perhaps the most effective way to stay away from sin. Instead of struggling hard to avoid committing sins supplemented with the constant reminder of the threat of hell fire, you must deeply experience the love of God through the sacrificial death of Jesus Christ for us. “This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins.” (Matthew 26:28). The obvious result of struggling hard to avoid committing sins supplemented with the continuous reminder of the threat of hell fire, is constant fear, guilt and frustration.

This mediator (Jesus Christ) has played a very important role in the lives of all mankind. By atoning our sins, He mediates for us for the forgiveness of our sins. His grace is everlasting.


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