OK... usually I leave my college office late because I am doing research. I had had a fairly bad day anyway... just things... I was so tired and sad on this day yesterday... anyway I am walking to my car which is about 1/2 mile away. As I'm walking I hear this kind of kiss sounds. I thought its coincidence but then I remembered at the exact same spot the day before walking home I had heard the smae kiss sounds. so I heard again and I turned to look at this group of 3 guys they were laughing when I looked at them they looked away. I stared them down I was really annoyed then they starrted making these kinds of gestures at me. OK... my college is for total rich kids and I did not grow up around such people I came here on a scholarshisp and suddenly the ghetto in me came out. I walked up to them I'm like "what the hell dude, watchu want?" The main guy in the group started looking back and yelling at me: "hey : ABDUL, RAHIM, etc, stereotypical Muslim names" and they start laughing. Again the ghetto in me came out and I ran up to them all angry and started getting in their face saying "hey I'm American and I born here and I converted to Islam" and they are like "well I'm sorry for you!" I was like f you you are the ignorant ones and I feel sorry for you! I went up to their car, for a moment I thought they would run me over but I didn't care I was stuck in that moment they are like, why are you tryin to start a fight with someone? etc then drove off

oh maaaaaaaaan i was so pissed like the second they left. Why I do these things. I am never a person who gets angry. I just felt really insulted. I never think before I talk Yu don't know how it wrecked my evening. I should have just approached them nice and been like, why do you feel the need to do this? or just been peaceful with what I said which is how I would be with anyone I know!! Why did I let it get to me, why act out of character! I always felt my whole life growing up if somebody is putting you down like a stranger or someonen trying to start it with you, don't back down you need to stand up but why I handled it in such a stupid way now they will think bad of Muslims

I wish the whole scenario could play over again because I"m so freaking mad at myself

Aww sis thats the sort of stuff i would do if someone said something like that to me.

I would've made the same mistake as you so don't beat yourself up about it. To be honest im proud of you for standing up to those losers. I'd be visioning them burning in hell while you laugh, you think that now.

and...guys do act like that when they're together i used to get stalked on the way back from college and they would make stupid animal noises and i would just glare once i got horning and this was when i didn't wear the hijaab so don't think they're doing it cuz you're a muslim they will taunt whoever they see and moves. They're worse than dogs cuz my dog is more loyal.

Ok say you hadn't approached them like that you will still be feeling those mad feelings towards them. Cuz i remember once in my class a blonde boy came out with "Muslims get offended by the three little pigs" and i went quiet for reasons that i was mentally drained and couldn't raise my voice enough being the only muslim asian girl there made me feel more self conscious. Also, i was remembering a time in highschool where i spoke up for Muslims and my own religion and people burst out laughing. I can't remember exactly what happened but they didn't understand me and i didn't want to repeat the same mistake.
But the thing is i regretted not speaking up afterwards, i could have changed his viewpoint. But do you think he would care? No he wouldn't give a damn.

So don't concern yourself with those fools. They are everywhere you just got to move on and avoid.

True - ignore low life like that unless one of them wants a 1-1 discussion on an issue in a public place. In groups they are just ignorant animals

Understandable as Muslim in America. Even though I'm a guy similar things happen to me. People start calling me a terrorist but I've learned to control my anger and talk to them nicely. After all thats what the Prophet pbuh did when they used to ridicule him and it worked wonders!

avatarmage I know that's why I am mad at myself why I didnt just talk at them nicely? they would have left with an entirely different impression.

bullies are bullies everywhere, it doesn't matter where you go; black,white, latino, chinese, christian, hindu, muslim, if you are different, you will have problems; watch "Gran Torino" Clint Eastwood for a great study in differnt cultures. Great movie

Hi Nazia1987

First of all I am sorry for the unpleasant experience with some impolite young men. In any society there are some immature people and that is reality we have to accept and live with. As a few readers have mentioned, I am also strongly against stereotyping other people such as Muslims. As I read the posts above, avatarmage seems to be doing better than the others. Here is one of my previous articles about how to live in a real world.

The real character of individuals or a group of people can be known by watching how they react to a given situation. Sometimes we hear about cartoons depicting a certain religious figure of a certain religion. Because the freedom of speech has been a virtue of democracy in the western world for a long time, I know many journalists and cartoonists have mocked Christianity and Jesus more than any other beliefs, and are still doing it whenever they want. What is the reaction of Christians to it? We are grieved over their misunderstanding and pray the same prayer as Jesus Christ did on the cross, Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." (Luke 23:34) On the other hand, we have seen a very different reaction of Muslims to cartoons by Dutch filmmaker, Danish newspaper and South Park. We know tens of thousands of Muslims went to the street with anger, calling for the death threat and assassination of those cartoonists. In fact many Muslim young men showed the public their determination to kill the Dutch filmmaker. Indeed a devout Muslim man succeeded to shot and stab him to death in 2004.

As long as mocking is concerned, Christians have been mocked more than any other beliefs, and yet we do not go to the street with anger, calling for the death threat and assassination of those cartoonists. Why? For two reasons. First, everybody is different and there are always some people who disagree with us strongly. Of course we do not enjoy being mocked or insulted by these people. But this is the reality of living in a human society and we should accept that. Second, no matter how much we are mocked or insulted by some people, the lives of human beings are still much more important than anything else. As I closely watch recent events surrounding cartoons depicting a religious figure of Islam, my observation is that it is the religious zeal that turns Muslims into super sensitive and explosive beyond our imagination. The love of God and religious zeal are two different things. Most (if not all) Muslims are confused about them. I also warn other fellow Christians against religious zeal because it sneaks in quietly.

People with religious zeal are very sensitive and explosive, while people with the love of God are very tolerant and joyful. People with religious zeal are easily offended, while people with the love of God are just smiling. I sincerely wish Muslims would overcome the religious zeal in order to develop an intimate loving relationship with God. God is not far away, but very close and personal.

thank for your assessment truth-finder... but actually I have no religious "zeal".... and am far from the picture you are painting of me. I think your problem in all honesty is that you look at Islam and from that you kind of lump all Muslims into one category. you think we all appraoch our faith the same way. truth be told, the reason I reacted the way I did had absolutely nothing to do with being a Muslim and had everything to do with where and how I grew up... in a place where you fought back against everything or you were a no body and no body was going to help you but you... but I learned to fight and fight quick.

My response was wrong, my response was stupid, but it is not because I am super religious (which I'm not) or because I have zeal or am easily offended. mostly I had a bad week and something about the way they approached me made me feel like I was 16 again and bumming the streets like I used to.

I think you would be wise to realize that while you DO believe you have found truth (and I am happy for you for that) you can't assume that every single person of another faith thinks/operates/feels/acts the exact same way you are painting them to.

Hi Nazia1987

We still remember well the planning of Quran burning by about 50 people led by Pastor Terry Jones of the Dove World Outreach Center. Almost all Christian organizations condemned the event. Personally I had sent him three separate emails not to burn Qurans. I explained him that there are many other polite ways to convey his message. Fortunately he and his small group of people listened to our imploring and gave up their plan.

Now let us look at the other case of the cartoons by a Dutch filmmaker. We know that tens of thousands of Muslims went to the street with anger in major cities of the world, calling for the death threat and assassination of the cartoonist. If I am not mistaken, no major Islamic organizations condemned their violent protests. With the moral support of virtually all Muslims, a devout Muslim man succeeded to shot and stab the cartoonist to death in 2004.

Christians are not immune to the disease of religious zeal. The 50 people led by the Floridian pastor were very likely infected with this disease. The most typical symptom of this disease is that religion is the most important, more important than human beings. As we look back to our own history, there were some shameful times in the past when religious zeal dominated our faith, which is called the Dark Age. During this period our spiritual ancestors did many cruel things to humanity through the Crusades, the Inquisition and some other means in the name of religion and God. We are glad we came out of this shameful dark age of the past caused by the nationalization or institutionalization of belief.

I take your kind advice that I can't assume that every single person of another faith thinks/operates/feels/acts the exact same way you are painting them to. But there is one thing I can't compromise with anybody including even Christians. Human beings are the most precious in the universe except the Creator. No religions, no religious laws, no religious traditions and absolutely nothing are above the human beings. I would be critical to anybody including even Christians, whenever it is violated.

Truth finder ... sigh... Nazia you will have to tell him you're not interested.


Anyways i agree with avatarmage, abbyh and angeloscar.

Learning to ''think before you act/talk'' is one of the hardest things ever try to achieve and you cannot ''accomplish'' this, as a single moment of anger or even happiness can just throw it all away. So um, heres my story >.>

I've always had a major problem with this and whilst you feel you gave of a 'negative' image my problem has always kind of been.. retorting with stupid/goofyness. Instead of engaging and maybe help the other person understand, we have the opposite affect.

Well.. I delt with this in a literal sense and that was when ever something 'sparks' your emotion of you know that what ever you are about to respond to/deal with might make you think twice, I literally just reminded myself to think before I acted.. and did so regularly. Now I think I can say I've improved in the way I handle things.. it takes time and well time again lol.

Sadly I aint perfect and I still screw up, but then again we're all human.

Don't be mad at yourself. Even the prophet made a mistake one time, he snubbed an elderly man but he asked for forgiveness and moved on.

And I must say you have some real guts.

hmm, i have to say i think the prophets behaviour is an example for us, and never a justification for our shortcomings.  snubbing an old man is not something a prophet, who was sent as a mercy to *mankind*, would surely do...but anyway that is a discussion for another day.

and nazia, im not sure they will think badly of muslims...they might even think twice before repeating the same mistake knowing that their behaviour won't be just ignored.

Actually it is an example. If the Prophet never made a single mistake we would not know how to ask forgiveness. It is mentioned in Surah Abbasa if you want the proof.

Yes, Avatarmage from mistakes we learn as humans.

I just remember reading something about the Prophets (pbuh) heart being taken out and washed and now im starting to think what if his heart wasn't washed?
Would he make the same mistakes as we do now?

Nazia, I think what you did is not necessarily a mistake but merely hindered a possibility of leaving them with a good impression. It's only a possibility. Sometimes people like that have to know that their behaviour is pathetic and doesn't put anyone in their place. Contextually, the situation has to be safe for you to approach them to leave a good impression of Islam, and if you can do that, it is always the better choice to make.

I understand your situation and the reason to react as you did and feel bad about it is due to the strong need for justice. For this, you need to put things into perspective for longer lasting results. I think what you can do is try not to go after every insult. Be selective, what I mean by this is if you ignore some of them and pay attention to the rest, accordingly and contextually. Because some people behave like that just to get a reaction out of you. They could just be cowardice bullies. Situationally, if the behaviour repeats from the same source you have to be able to stand up for yourself/let authorities know, etc, simply because it's not acceptable.

it was not the prophet who snubbed.  it was someone sitting with him.

and asking for forgiveness is something a prophet can teach without sinning.  when teaching someone to drive a car, u dont first crash in to a wall and proclaim 'oh btw this is what ur not meant to do'.

any further comment on this ought to be directed in a topic which u are welcome to open up.  thanks.

Ahhkj uigi lhj.

Ah okay thanks for clearing things up. I was under the impression that it was the prophet all this time!

My experience of being harassed by guys is that they have already made up their minds about me and aren't really interested in learning anything. So when I choose my response, it's really about who I would rather be. They aren't listening to me anyway. But being hasseled can be really scary. When I read your story, I was really more concerned about your personal safety.

Hey, they got under your skin. It happens to us all. It doesn't define you. You are way more than that.

I'd be visioning them burning in hell while you laugh, you think that now.

^ At least quote me.