Ever been so numb

awww. yes.
Sometimes I feel it in others... for example, in my cousin who is not doing well in her cancer battle, and has recently lost her mother =(

hope all is well

Just remember, this too shall pass! Time is so short, the problems we have today we won't even remember a year or so from now!! Keep on goin you will be fine!!!

Yep. Sometimes I lie down at night, and wish I would have died in my youth.

Never think this!

I used to be like this.

Also, you are still in your youth! (you are only 19 isn't it?)

Keep in mind my friend how short things are. We only get one shot at this life, and it is whatever we make of it. If we don't like our lives, it is within our power to change them. Always realize you have the power and the freedom to live your life as you wish and to accomplish whatever you want. The entire world is open to you. Every moment is a moment we will never get back.

I understand. I usually push such thoughts away, but sometimes I find myself playing with them in my head.

If there is one thing that life as taught me it's that we follow a pattern of highs and lows in our lives. The important thing to remember is that, no matter how bad things get a good will undouptedly come and when happy we will feel sad again eventually. THe trick, i find, is to enjoy the highs when in one then when in a low concentrate on memories of happiness and fun or antisipate the good times ahead. Even the smallest candle makes a huge difference in the darkest of nights.

Assalamu alaikum (Peace be upon you)
GB Xx

I went though a phase for many years (from 15-21 actually lol) where I had now reconisable emotions, no sense of self or self worth, I was simply a tool for others to use and abuse. When I was 19 I tried to change away from that situation, I moved out of my home, changed my name and left college to look for work. Nearly three years later and I've finailly started not only to express my emotions but to allow myself them if that make sense. I try to look on the positive side of everything that has happened to me and to thank God that I have come through stronger for the experience.This said I also remember when I had people telling me things will change in time and I was still trapped in that space of nothingness.

Making plans helps I think, even if they are short, boring or unrealistic because they give the shoots of hope that opens the doors to the self. I now have a plan that I'm not only thinkinga nd hopeing for but working towards, but it took my 3 years near enough.

Assalamu alaikum (Peace be upon you)
GB Xx